


Saviour

by RedSneakers



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-08
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-15 21:57:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSneakers/pseuds/RedSneakers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes even the strongest of the strongest needs a saviour</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darkness Falls

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: not mine, just playing in other people's sandbox

Dark was the first word that came across Cara's mind the moment she opened her eyes. She frowned at the unusual darkness that surrounded her. For a moment she thought she was back in the Mord'Sith temple, in the dungeon. She shook her head slowly to cast away the cobweb in her head and winced when she tried to move; her head was hammering and her body ached in all places. Palming the hard, earthy ground beneath her – for support as well as finding out where she was, the blonde began to push her aching body to sit up.

Cara blinked a couple of times to get used to the darkness but she was still unable to catch even a shadow. Her blood began to pump faster as she felt an eerie chill down her spine. She listened carefully for things, for anything that would give her a clue on where she was and what happened. The slender woman ran her hand and felt the furry material of her bedroll. This was certainly not Mord'Sith dungeon – her Sisters of the Agiels wouldn't be so nice as to provide a deserter with a warm bedroll, now, would they? Cara snickered despite feeling uneasy. She took a deep breath and sucked in a lungful of fresh air with a distinct smell of damp leaves and trees; she reckoned she was outside. Outside where? Why was she alone? Where was Kahlan? And Lord Rahl? And the wizard? Did she die? Was the Underworld supposed to be this quiet?

Her musing was abruptly disrupted by a rustling sound not far from where she was seated. She tensed, closing her eyes and focused on her hearing. Instinctively she reached for her left hip to get her Agiels only to find them missing. She balled her fist in sudden rush of anger and a slight restlessness that she was unwilling to admit openly, waiting for whatever – or whomever – was coming. Clenching her jaw tightly, Cara began to steady her breathing and let her remaining senses work. She was ready to fight for her life.

Kahlan just returned from her berry hunting when she saw Cara sitting up. The brunette's face lightened up and broke into a wide grin in an instant. "Cara!" she beamed, carelessly dropping the berries she was cradling on her bedroll and ran to the other woman's bedroll. "Thank the Spirits you're awake!"

Cara's body relaxed immediately the moment she recognized Kahlan's voice. She opened her mouth to give the other woman a snarky remark about the unnecessary perkiness but something that she recognized as her own more logical and cautious part stopped her. Wait! How could Kahlan know she was awake? How could Kahlan see her in this darkness? What happened? Was it really Kahlan? What if it wasn't Kahlan? What if this was some kind of really sick dark magic to trick her into thinking that it was the Mother Confessor coming? It was pitch-dark; she couldn't see anything and she was not stupid to trust something she couldn't see; after all, she was still a well-trained Mord'Sith. Her brain was storming her with so many thoughts she felt dizzy.

The small movement didn't go unnoticed by Kahlan. Her brows furrowed into a crease as she knelt down in front of the sitting Mord'Sith. "Cara?" the brunette called out her name tentatively.

"Who are you?"

The viciousness in Cara's voice stopped Kahlan from asking if the blonde was alright. On instinct she reached out to touch Cara's arm but refrained herself from doing so, knowing how the other woman felt about random unnecessary touches. Instead, Kahlan ran her hand through her own brunette locks, tucking a loose strand behind her ear as she nervously replied, "What do you mean? It's me, Kahlan."

Listening for a slight falter, a different tone, or anything that could give her a clue that this was not Kahlan, Cara was disappointed when all she could catch was confusion and worry. The young woman breathed in and Kahlan's unique scent filled her nostrils. She was almost sure that this woman claiming to be the Mother Confessor was _indeed_ who she claimed she was. Still, it was better to be cautious.

"Who are you?" the blonde nearly shouted now.

Kahlan tilted her head, confused. She looked at Cara as if the blonde had lost her mind. "Cara, what's wrong with you? Can't you see, it's me, Kahlan?" she asked worriedly, taking Cara's hand into her own without thinking.

The blonde flinched at the touch, slapping the hand away. See? Her mind raced. See what? What to see? It was so dark she couldn't even see her own hand. Where was she? Where were Richard and Zedd? "Why is it so dark?" she didn't realize she asked the question out loud until she heard her own voice speaking in such unsure tone. _Weak_ , she scolded herself.

"Dark?" Kahlan repeated as if in trance. "But Cara, it's broad day–.. Oh!" she gasped, clasping a hand to her mouth when a revelation crossed her mind. Experimentally and very silently, the taller woman raised her trembled hand in front of Cara's face and waved it. When she got no reaction from Cara, the brunette widened her eyes in shock. She scrambled to her feet and took a step back. Before she could move farther, though, a steely grip had grabbed the hem of her long skirt and pulled. Hard. Kahlan stumbled back on her knees, her face mere inches from the blonde's.

"What was it you were going to say?" Low and dangerous as it sounded, Cara couldn't help but notice a small waver in her voice she recognized as weakness. She steeled herself. You are a Mord'Sith, she reminded herself coldly. _A Mord'Sith doesn't fear anything._

Staring wide-eyed at the open – and empty – orbs of green in front of her, Kahlan lost her words. She opened her mouth but no words came out. All she could do was stare into Cara's eyes.

Even before the answer came, Cara knew what Kahlan was going to say earlier. She knew, because she could also feel the warmth of the sun caressing her back and warming the top of her head. She didn't need a verbal confirmation to know that she was the only one who was enveloped by the darkness. She swallowed an invisible lump in her throat as she came to the realization. _No_ , she screamed inside. _It can't be!_ "I'm... _blind_?"

Cara's words were hardly above whisper but it sounded like thunder in the Confessor's ears. The brunette could hear her own heartbeat, pounding like she had been running for leagues. Kahlan couldn't tear her eyes away from Cara's. Now that the blonde had said the word she hadn't been able to bring herself to say, it became more real. She felt the grip on the hem of her skirt loosen, the face in front of her inched away as if trying to hide. This time, Kahlan was the one who made a move; she reached out and grabbed Cara by the shoulder. The other woman struggled but Kahlan didn't let go.

"Look at me!" she commanded, cupping Cara's face in one hand. She mentally smacked herself when she saw Cara raised an eyebrow. "Cara," she started again, more softly this time, "Please. Listen to me. We're going to make this better, alright? You are going to be alright."

The Mord'Sith chuckled a humourless laugh. She turned away, pushing the Mother Confessor from her, avoiding the touch. "Of course I'm going to be alright! I'm a Mord'Sith!" Cara scoffed. "Now where's the wizard? He'll fix this." A bubble of rage began to surface from beneath as Cara's words sank in to herself. She, Cara Mason, a Mord'Sith who pledged to serve and protect her Lord Rahl, blind. Blind – as in unable to see. How could she protect her Lord if she wasn't able to see? Her body began to shake as she was trying her best to control her emotion. Her Agiels! She needed her Agiels!

The brunette watched motionlessly while her friend scrambled on her hands and knees on the ground, looking for something Cara couldn't see. Hot tears formed in Kahlan's eyes; her heart broke at the sight. She crouched next to the furious woman. "Cara," Kahlan called out very quietly, not wanting to startle her friend. "Cara, what are you looking for? Please, let me hel–.."

"I don't need your help!" Cara retorted brusquely, cutting off Kahlan's words. She didn't need pity – especially from someone whom she couldn't see. For all she knew, it might still be a trap. _My Agiels! Where are my Agiels?_

The sound of heavy footsteps behind them alerted Cara. She backed off with her hands and knees until she touched a rough trunk of a tree. She pressed her back there, waiting. Waiting for what – or who, for that matter – she didn't know, she thought bitterly.

"Cara!" Richard's voice was of excitement when his eyes caught a blonde sitting up. The twinkle in his eyes faded, though, the moment he saw Cara's expression and the tension between her and Kahlan. "What's wrong?"

The Mother Confessor turned her head and looked up at the Seeker, tears welled up in her baby blue eyes.

"Kahlan?" Richard demanded.

Bracing herself, Kahlan opened her mouth. Nothing came out at first. "She can't see," she was finally able to let out in a shaky breath.

The brown-haired man was taken aback. "What?" He approached Cara in two long strides. Before he could get too close, he stopped in his tracks. Cara was clutching the tree behind her as if for dear life; her eyes wandered everywhere but on Richard. He had never seen her like this – so lost – and it broke his heart.

"Back off!" Cara growled like a wounded animal, threatening and frightful.

"Cara, it's Richard."

"How do I know you are who you say you are?" the blonde barked precariously, ignoring the tingling of the bond she could feel between her and the man before her.

Richard shook his head, sighing. This was Cara, a proud woman who didn't trust easily, sometimes even after she saw it with her own eyes. And now that she could see nothing, how could Richard make her trust him, or Kahlan? He turned his head towards Kahlan, looking for an advice, an assurance. He found nothing. The pair of blue eyes weren't looking at him; they were fixed to the blonde form in front of them as if nothing else existed. Guilt was evident in those blue eyes and Richard let out another audible breath. This was another thing he should deal with. But for the time being, he decided, first thing first. His attention was back to Cara.

"You don't," he said, "All you can do is trust us. Cara, we don't mean any harm to you. You know that. And I know– I know deep down you know that we are who we say we are."

He was right, Cara pondered. Deep down, even before Richard showed up and said those words, Cara had known that it wasn't a trap; nobody would have been stupid enough to think that they could trick her by guising as the Mother Confessor. Even though she had no bond with Kahlan, she would be able to differentiate between the real one and an impostor in a heartbeat. She had known everything all along but she refused to acknowledge that little voice that kept telling her that it was true. Somehow she felt that if she accepted the fact, then she had to accept that she was really... blind. A bile formed at the back of the throat as her mind mentioned the five-letter word again. Blind. The Mord'Sith clamped her jaw to calm her nerves; she would shed no tears.

"Cara?"

Her head snapped up at the hesitant voice that was Kahlan's. She couldn't see the brunette, but she could still register where the voice was coming from. She waited.

Fidgeting with her hands, Kahlan stepped forward until she was an arm-length away from the blonde. "Cara, could you please trust us? Please? At least... try?"

"My Agiels," the blonde said, her voice steady as she made up her mind, "I want my Agiels."

Kahlan and Richard exchanged a worried look. The look was so obvious that if Cara had seen it she would have been offended.

"Cara, do you think it's a good id–.." Again, Kahlan was cut off by a gruff remark.

"I said," Cara repeated in a low tone, punctuated on each word, "I. Want. My. Agiels." She heard a rustling sound and recognized it as Richard's footsteps. Then she felt something put on her lap. Cara reached out. Her fingers met a cloth wrap and she opened it quickly. In the wrap was her pair of Agiels. The moment the two red leather rods touched her bare skin, Cara felt a tingle of pain she was too familiar with. At last, she thought, something she understood. She began to feel her eyes flutter close and she resigned to the pull as the stinging sensation of the Agiels lulled her to sleep. She had her Agiels. Nobody could hurt her.

The Mother Confessor and the Seeker watched guardedly as Cara held her Agiels tightly in her hands, eyes closed. They were worried that she might hurt herself. The two were amazed, though, when they saw a smile form on Cara's lips – a full blown smirk of confidence she usually showed during battle – as the woman slipped to slumber. They stood in silence for a while before Richard noticed that Kahlan had been shifting nervously from one foot to the other, her eyes were puffy and red from crying. He patted the woman's shoulder and gave it a small squeeze to ease the tension that was evident from the way she was standing. She met his eyes and found only reassurance in them. Nodding at him, Kahlan allowed herself to believe in the promises in Richard's eyes – the silent promise that Cara would be alright, that they would make everything right again – and her muscles relaxed.

When Zedd returned soon after with a burnt rabbit in one hand – wizard fire, obviously – and a basketful of mushrooms in the other, Richard informed the older man about Cara's condition. Zedd frowned. His first instinct was to wake Cara up immediately so he could check up on her but Kahlan asked him to wait until Cara woke up on her own, arguing that the agile woman had had too much excitement already and needed her rest.

"I'll check up on her as soon as she is awake," Zedd agreed.

...

_Cara was breathing hard. She looked around and saw her friends fighting around her; on her left was Zedd fighting off three banelings and on her right was Richard against two Sisters of the Dark. She couldn't find Kahlan. As she focused on finding the brunette, she caught a glimpse of red coming at her from the right side. Growling, Cara raised her right hand and swung her Agiels with force without actually looking at her attacker; she blocked a dacra just before it grazed her upper arm._

_"Have a death wish?" she taunted cheekily. She laughed when the Sister attacking her snarled and launched at her. Again, effortlessly, the blonde blocked the attack. "Oh, you've gotta do better than that." Her Agiels hummed as she thrust hard into the Sister's chest and Cara barred her teeth in a feral grin._

_They were ambushed on their way to the village. There were so many of them – banelings and Sisters alike. Too many for Cara's liking. She enjoyed the fights – that was unquestionable. But she always felt uneasy when they were fighting off too many enemies. She couldn't watch the others' backs when she had to focus on fending off her own opponents; Cara didn't like it. Her duty was to protect Richard Rahl, to make sure that the man was in one piece when she dragged him back to People's Palace to claim his throne; that was it . Then she remembered that Richard told her to protect Kahlan as if she was him so Cara, obedient as she was, took the task seriously._

_Glancing around for the second time to make sure that her Lord was fine, she focused on finding Kahlan. The Mother Confessor had the habit of missing from Cara's sight in the heat of a battle; that was one of the things she had been trying to change from Kahlan to no avail. When she finally caught a glimpse of white dress and dark hair surrounded by four women, she muttered and trotted to the Confessor._

_Kahlan could see Cara approaching with her trademark catlike move from the corner of her eyes and let out a shaky breath of relief. She was capable of handling the Sisters, of course, but she wouldn't be so arrogant as to refuse any helps coming her way – she wasn't Cara. The blonde would kill Kahlan on the spot were she to try to interfere with her fight._

" _Your dagger blunt, Confessor?"_

_Even in the middle of an attack, the habit of throwing sarcastic remarks never seemed to leave Cara as she made her way to Kahlan, calmly twirling her Agiels in both hands. Kahlan glared at the deliberate taunt but said nothing in reply, saving her breath. Her glare turned into a grin, though, when the Mord'Sith moved swiftly to her side, aiding her. Soon the two moved together in sync as if dancing – a block by Kahlan's dagger here, a jab of Cara's Agiels there, a little push there, a little pull here. There were no words exchanged, no commands shouted; it was just like they could read each other's mind when it came to battle. Had anyone seen them fight, they would have witnessed how beautifully complementing Kahlan and Cara were to each other. Of course, such thing could only happen in battle._

_They were panting by the time Cara pressed an Agiel to the last Sister's heart, the woman's pained scream was matched by the screech of the Agiel before finally the red stick was the only one that cried. Cara put the Agiels back in their holsters, close to her hips, before looking up to assess the woman next to her._

_The brunette looked flustered. Her hair was matted by sweat and she was visibly tired. Other than that, Cara couldn't see any injuries. She nodded at the taller woman, satisfied with the assessment._

_Kahlan, on the other hand, gasped as she laid her eyes on Cara, doing the exact same thing as the other woman. "You're bleeding!" she exclaimed, pointing at Cara's shoulder._

_"Just a graze," the blonde dismissed. She got the wound while pushing Kahlan out of the way before a Sister slashed a dacra; she wasn't fast enough to avoid it herself. "Come on; let's see if the men are alright." She began to walk back to where they first got separated. The tall blonde could hear Kahlan behind her, quickening her footsteps to match Cara's, and she considerately – or rather absentmindedly, waited for Kahlan to catch up with her._

_"You know, I think I won't miss any of these when the rift is sealed," the Mother Confessor began._

_"Any of what?" Cara responded flatly, out of politeness rather than curiosity – small talk was never her forte._

_"These," she repeated, motioning with her hands, "these fights and attacks and banelings and such."_

_"Oh," was the only answer Cara gave._

_Kahlan placed her hand on her hip, tilting her head at Cara in annoyance. "Oh?" she said, "That's the only thing you can say?"_

_The blonde shrugged, "What else would you have me say?"_

_Kahlan gave the other woman an are-you-for-real look. She was about to give Cara a lecture about the propriety in a conversation when she saw Richard and Zedd. She smiled, thanking the Spirits that everyone was fine._

_"You're bleeding," was Richard's first words to Cara. He chuckled at the woman's reaction of rolling her eyes. "We'll need to tend to that after we set a camp," he told Cara. After a second thought, he added, "And that is not a suggestion, Cara."_

_"It's just a graze," Cara protested. Salves and medicines shouldn't be wasted on small cuts like this, not on her. Now if it had been Kahlan, or Zedd, or Richard himself that were injured..._

_She didn't get the chance to finish the thought as she saw something flew towards Kahlan. Trained to react first before thinking Cara moved in front of the Confessor and pushed her out of harm's way._

_A loud sickening thud was heard the moment what was seemed to be a catapulted rock met the base of Cara's skull. The blonde heard Kahlan scream her name. And then everything went black..._

...

Cara woke up with a start, beads of sweat covering her forehead. Darkness still enveloped her and she immediately regretted waking up. Apparently, she had been dreaming; it was so vivid that she thought it was real. And in her dream, she could still see. Biting her lower lip so hard it bled, the blonde reprimanded herself for letting a dream consumed her. She pushed away every lingering doubt and locked her feelings back in place. This wasn't the time to feel. She needed to think.

She tried to control her breathing and listened to the noises around her. She heard the crackling of the fire and felt cool breeze hit her uncovered face and neck; she guessed that it was night time. Then she heard light footsteps she recognized as Kahlan's walking around the camp. She heard no other footsteps or voices. She frowned. Surely Richard and Zedd weren't _that_ stupid leaving Kahlan alone with her when she was practically incapacitated to protect anyone?

The brunette was just going to wake Cara up for dinner when she saw that the other woman was awake, lying silently on her bedroll. "You're awake," Kahlan spoke uncertainly, sounding unsure about what kind of reaction she would get from Cara.

"What time is it?" asked Cara, mentally rolling her eyes because Kahlan had, again, stated the obvious. Or maybe, she thought, blind people sleep with their eyelids open.

"Only a couple of candlemarks after sunset," she informed. Kahlan tilted her head, noticing at how calm Cara was now. She didn't know if it was a good thing or not – with someone like Cara, you never knew.

The blonde frowned when Kahlan told her the time. She couldn't believe she had slept that long. She refused with a shake of her head when the Confessor offered her something to eat. Cara wasn't hungry; she had no time for hunger. She sat up, using both hands to support her weight. Then she realized that something was missing. The tingling sensations of her...

"Your Agiels slipped off your hands while you were sleeping," Kahlan informed as if reading Cara's mind, "They are under the blanket, on your right."

Thinking back later, a lot later, Cara found it amusing that Kahlan knew exactly where her Agiels had been then, but right now the only thing she cared about was holding the weapons. Sliding her right hand on her bedroll, soon her fingertips brushed against the cool metal chain that was attached to her Agiels. She drew them out, holding both in each hand and relishing in the pain that they caused her.

Kahlan sat by the fire, facing her friend. Kahlan had been unable to tear her eyes away from Cara when the blonde was asleep. She justified her action by telling herself that she only kept watch in case Cara needed anything. But now, after Cara was awake and she had no reasons to still watch over the blonde, the Confessor found it difficult to not look at Cara. It made her heart clench in indescribable feeling when she saw how tightly Cara was holding the Agiels. It pained Kahlan to see that Cara, instead of dealing with the mixture of emotions Kahlan was certain the blonde had to be feeling at the moment, chose to find solace in the hurting touch of an Agiel. But she couldn't blame Cara for doing so; how could she? Cara was only trying to seek comfort in the only way she understood, the only way she had been taught – pain.

The sudden silence alarmed Cara. She straightened up and paid attention to her surroundings. "Kahlan?" she called out. There was no answer.

Kahlan had been so deep in thought that she didn't hear Cara calling her name at first. She barely registered that Cara was calling her when she caught movement from the corner of her eyes – Cara was standing up; her back pressed to the tree behind her should someone attack her from behind.

"Confessor!" There was power in Cara's voice. That, and a little waver Cara hoped Kahlan wouldn't notice – if she had heard her, that was. She was ready for anything. If it hadn't been for Kahlan's voice answering her, she would have done something drastic.

"Sorry, Cara. I wasn't listening," Kahlan apologized. She recognized panic when she saw it, no matter how hard Cara wanted to hide it.

"Don't do that!" She was referring to the sudden silence. "I'm blind for Creator's sake! What if someone attacked us and I didn't know?"

The brunette's face fell. "I'm so sorry, Cara," she repeated. "I didn't mean to scare you." And the moment those words left her lips, Kahlan wished she had said nothing. Cara's face reddened with anger.

"I'm not scared!" Cara hissed.

The low hiss was more threatening than a yell, and Kahlan felt a shiver down her spine. "Of course," she said. "I didn't mean it to sound that way. I'm so sorry."

"Never do that again, Confessor." That was the blonde's way of telling Kahlan that she was forgiven. Cara lowered herself until she was sitting down on her bedroll. She felt someone move closer and she stiffened a little.

"It's me," Kahlan let herself known. She sat down next to Cara and took a better look at the fair woman. It didn't escape her attention that Cara was still holding her Agiels like they were extension of her hands. If she had to be perfectly honest about it, Kahlan greatly disapproved of Cara's keeping the things in her hands. The Confessor had mentioned this to both Richard and Zedd while Cara was asleep earlier, asking Richard to command the Mord'Sith to put the Agiels away. Richard dismissed the idea quickly. Too quickly, Kahlan grumbled.

...

_"I can't do that," Richard said, "Kahlan, you can't expect me to take away the only control she has on the normal world."_

_"She's hurting herself!" the brunette tried to get her point across._

_"She is used to the pain."_

_Her head whipped up, blue orbs met Richard's brown ones in one chilling look. "That doesn't make it right," she uttered coldly, "I can't believe you just said that, Richard." Kahlan was totally disappointed in Richard and she made sure he knew what she thought of him._

_The Seeker sighed. He knew Kahlan would not understand. "Listen," he began, "Cara is emotionally hurting; she is physically impaired. Kahlan, she was robbed from the thing she had had from birth! Her Agiels, bad as I think they are, are the only things that are closest to what normal is for Cara. Do you really want to steal that away from her, too?"_

_"There's got to be another way!" Kahlan was adamant, "She doesn't need them. Not now. She is safe."_

_Richard ran his hand through his hair in frustration. This is going to be difficult, he muttered to himself. "If there was another way, do you think I'd let her hurt herself like now?"_

_"I don't know, Richard. I wasn't the one insisting that she keeps her Agiels," retorted Kahlan in her Mother Confessor tone and she saw Richard blushed at her words. "I wasn't the one who seems to have no problem with her dwelling in pain. Pain," she paused to give emphasize, "can't be healed by more pain. That is sick."_

_"That is the way of a Mord'Sith," Zedd interrupted their heated argument when the wizard saw that his grandson began to lose the verbal banter. He cast Kahlan a sympathetic look, only to be responded by icy stare. "I'm sorry, Kahlan, but I have to agree with Richard. Cara needs her Agiels – even more so now than ever before. She needs to face her fear of living in the dark, Kahlan, and if facing fears means having the Agiels with her at all time, so be it."_

_Kahlan frowned. She didn't like where the conversation was going; Zedd was talking as if he didn't expect Cara's sight to return. "She won't be blind forever," stated Kahlan affirmatively. Of that, she was sure._

_Zedd nodded. "Of course not. But until then – until I find a way to return her sight, it's better this way."_

_Without saying another word, Kahlan turned her heels and walked away. She was done talking with the two – it was going to be futile trying to make them change their mind. She could have pressed the issue, but the last thing she wanted to do was to make a scene and wake Cara up. She slumped disgracefully on a log, a couple of steps away from where Cara was sleeping._

_The blonde looked peaceful in her slumber and Kahlan was mesmerized by the serenity on her face as it was an unusual view. The Cara Kahlan knew was nowhere near calm – Kahlan couldn't even put the waking Cara on the same sentence as tranquillity._

...

"You're doing it again."

Cara's protest interrupted Kahlan's train of thoughts. The taller woman quirked an eyebrow.

"What was it?"

"You sneaked out on me again," Cara explained impatiently.

"But I didn't go anywhere," Kahlan responded, puzzled.

Cara wanted to roll her eyes, but she realized that she couldn't do it anymore so instead she let out an irritated sigh. "You went silent. If you had sat far from me I wouldn't know that you're still around."

"I'm not leaving you," she said. A smile formed on Kahlan's lips.

"Well you'd better not. Richard will kill me if something happens to you," Cara snapped. "Told him you're good enough with those daggers but he still fusses around. I made a promise so don't make me break it by acting stupid."

Kahlan blinked at the masked compliment. "Yes, I am capable of protecting myself," she agreed. Richard was always over protective sometimes and she found it a little aggravating. She was not so weak as to need a body guard. She eyed the woman before her, adding, "Myself and the both of us." She considered it really sweet that Cara still thought about Kahlan's wellbeing above Cara's own. But it bothered Kahlan that the blonde had no single thought her own safety. All her life, Cara had always been forced to protect the so-called 'more important people' – to die for them if need be; she had always been led to believe that her life meant nothing, that she was expendable and there would always be someone else to replace her, were she to fail her mission. If anything, Cara Mason was everything but selfish.

Even though there was a hint of laughter in Kahlan's voice that suggested the other woman was teasing her, the words was like a hard slap on Cara's face. The blonde had never felt so insulted before – except when her sisters of Agiels cut her braid, but that was another story. A Mord'Sith who couldn't fight for herself, who had to be protected by those she had to protect; what bigger humiliation would top that? The visually impaired woman tightened her grip on the Agiels as fury began to take control of her.

"I don't need protection," she murmured.

It took Kahlan only a second to note the sudden change of tension between them and she had an idea on what had caused it. She sobered up. _I really need to watch my tongue_ , she reprimanded herself mentally. "You don't. I was only joking," Kahlan admitted. She didn't apologize but she hoped that Cara understood that she meant nothing by it. It was so easy to anger Cara now – this was the third time that day Kahlan had managed to upset her friend.

The blonde looked away. She didn't want Kahlan to see her face. For the first time since she realized that she was no longer able to see, Cara was grateful for the blindness. At least she couldn't see the pity that she was sure must be present in Kahlan baby blue eyes then. Or in Richard's. Or Zedd's. She could stand being tortured. She could stand being blind. She could stand being mocked and ridiculed. She could stand being left to die. Cara could stand almost anything but one – being pitied.

Realizing that her friend wanted to be alone, Kahlan stood up and left for her own bedroll, but not before telling Cara that she was going to sleep. She hoped that it would at least put Cara's mind at ease if the blonde couldn't hear a sound from her.

Long after Kahlan went to bed, Cara was wide awake, lying on her back. For the first half candlemark or so, the blonde could hear Kahlan toss and turn on her bedroll. Then the breathing steadied and Cara focused on it. Richard and Zedd were yet to be heard when Cara's green eyes began to get heavier. Her last thought before she yielded to the deep slumber was how she was going to give the two men hell for leaving Kahlan unprotected with her.


	2. Burdened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being blind wasn't that big of a problem in Cara's book - being fussed around all the time for being blind was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: See previous chapter
> 
> The chapter is unbeta-ed so please pardon any mistakes and such. I hope you enjoy the ride.

Anger. Cara’s anger had been consuming her – body and soul – since she woke up the following morning. Even with her nature that seemed to always in the verge of bursting out in flame of fury this anger was not normal. Cara could hardly contain the wrath that was enveloping her like the darkness around her.

Everything started to go wrong just a couple of minutes after she opened her eyes, waking up from a dream she didn’t really want to remember, and once again welcomed the never ending darkness despite the dampness in the air that told her it was already morning. Cara rubbed her temple rather forcefully as though she would be able to see again if she rubbed hard enough. She sat up, one hand immediately on an Agiel. The leather rod hummed as pricks of pain crept through her veins, grounding her. She took a few seconds feeling her surrounding before starting to move. She then got up to her feet on her own. As she was trying to measure the distance between where she was standing and the ring of fire she was sure had to be put in the middle of the camp, a hand touched her elbow. Startled, Cara yanked her arm off the invading touch with a growl.

“It’s me,” Kahlan announced herself.

The blonde cocked her head at the other woman, dying to be able to really glare at her. “I know,” she spat out, “Who else could be more foolish to invade my personal space than the Mother Confessor herself?”

If Cara had meant to offend her with the sarcastic remark, Kahlan blatantly ignored it. She had resolved not to be provoked by anything the blonde said to her until Zedd was able to take a look on her and heal her. Kahlan owed it to Cara to be a little more patient – she was the cause of the other woman’s injury, after all. “Come on,” she coaxed softly, “Let’s have something to eat. You must be hungry. Zedd made some stew.”

“I’m not hungry,” Cara grumbled, crossing her arms across the chest; her expression resembled one of a grumpy child that Kahlan had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing.

“Well, eat anyway,” Kahlan went on, “Zedd will be back soon and it will hurt his heart if he sees you not eating.”

The Mord’Sith literally snorted at the other woman’s innocent statement. She and the wizard weren’t exactly bosom friends; they weren’t even friends at all. If Zeddicus Zu’l Zorrander had a list of people he loathed, Cara could be a hundred percent positive that she was on top of the list. Cara knew he detested her guts as much as he feared her – he had only stopped sleeping with Kahlan’s dagger under his pillow for only less than a month ago, for crying out loud! Now to say that she, Cara, would hurt the old man’s feelings by not eating his food – that would be downright hilarious. Zedd wouldn’t even bat an eye were Cara to die of starvation; he’d rejoice, even.

Mistaking Cara’s snort as some silent agreement to eat, Kahlan reached out for the blonde’s hand as she intended to guide the other woman closer to the fire. She just barely touched the leather gloved when she flinched as Cara’s strong hand took a grip on her wrist and twisted it to a painful angle for a second before releasing it as if Kahlan’s hand was hot coal. Kahlan winced visibly at the throbbing pain and she rubbed the injured hand with the other. The brunette’s heart beat so fast it resounded in her own ears. For a moment there she thought Cara was going to lose it.

“Stop touching me!” Cara snarled, balling her hand into a tight fist.

“I was just trying to–..”

“Well stop trying!” Cara cut Kahlan’s attempt to explain herself. Her breathing ragged and her cheeks were flushed with anger.

“Do you always have to use force to get what you want?” Kahlan’s raised her voice by a notch. “You can simply ask.”

“Like you’re going to listen!” Cara countered hotly, “I’m not your lap dog! I don’t allow people to touch me and guide me around like a leashed animal. I’m blind, Mother Confessor, not crippled!”

Kahlan lifted her chin petulantly, her expression hardened. The Confessor wasn’t used to receiving such an ungrateful return from people when she was trying to offer a hand – on the contrary, people were _dying_ for her to help them – and she couldn’t help but feeling infuriated. It took her only a second, though, to remind herself that she wasn’t dealing with just ordinary people. No; she was dealing with a Mord’Sith – a stubborn creature, for lack of better word, and someone who was raised to be too proud for their own good – and from what she had learned about Cara, Kahlan was certain that the woman was the most obstinate among her kind. Kahlan closed her eyes and counted to ten before letting her tightened jaw relax.

“I don’t need your help,” Cara scowled again for emphasis, without yelling this time; she reached for her Agiel and held it, controlling the outburst of anger and put it at bay. She had her brows furrowed deep as if trying to will Kahlan away with mere expression. If Kahlan didn’t know better she would think that Cara was going to stomp her foot like a child denied of sweets.

“I know,” Kahlan said calmly, “You made it perfectly clear. Just humor me, will you?”

Sighing in defeat, Cara lowered her head. Dealing with a Confessor, _this_ Confessor, was tiring her soul. What was it with Kahlan and unnecessary touches and eagerness to help? She cursed under her breaths. She did need to know where the fire was, but the idea of having Kahlan or other people holding her hand and guide her around truly sickened Cara. She finally breathed out a question, trying not to make it sound like asking for help, “How many steps are there to the fire?”

Kahlan beamed at the grunted question. At least Cara was no longer shouting her lungs out now. “Ten,” she replied after calculating mentally, “Turn around to your left and just walk straight there.” She stood where she was as Cara started to make a tentative step following Kahlan’s direction.

Walking without being able to see was so different, Cara thought as she was trying to find her balance. It wasn’t that she never had to walk in complete darkness before – she had done this; numerous times when she had to do one of Darken Rahl’s crazy bidding. But those times were different; she had always known where she was heading, having studied everything about the place she would be sent to, and there was always some kind of reassurance within that once she had finished her task she would be able to return to the land with light and colors. This time she had no mental preparation or guidance. She had to rely merely on Kahlan’s words – trusting her not to lead Cara to harm. And the Spirits knew how much Cara hated not having control.

It was only half a heartbeat too late for Kahlan to warn the other woman about the small stone on her path. She watched in horror as Cara stepped on it and began to stumble forward and fell with a grunt. “Spirits, Cara!” Kahlan gasped. She scrambled forward and tried to help the other woman stand. “I’m sorry! I should’ve warned you!”

Cara shoved the taller woman away; she felt stupid and humiliated. A Mord’Sith who couldn’t even walk straight without stumbling; what a disgrace, Cara thought angrily. “Save the word, Mother Confessor,” she refused the sympathy-laced apology and stood up again. She walked with a slight limp on the right foot, without making a scene this time, and managed to locate a log to sit on with her uninjured foot. Cara looked relieved when she was finally off her feet again.

“I’m really sorry, Cara,” Kahlan repeated her apology even though she knew that Cara would dismiss it.

Cara replied with silence. She was too embarrassed to comment. Her brain churned as she was thinking about the way to walk without having to rely on other people to point her at the right direction. It was a weakness she needed to handle at least until the wizard came back from Creator knew where and fix her. For the first time in months, Cara actually waited to see Zedd. Her musing was interrupted by a delicious smell that suddenly filled her nostrils. She felt warm steam brushed her face and realized that Kahlan must be holding a plate in front of her.

“Here,” Kahlan offered gently, ghosting the plate near Cara’s hand – but not actually touching – so that the blonde could reach out a little to take it from her. “Have something to eat.”

“Not hungry.”

“Eat,” forced Kahlan, “Or I’ll tell Richard.”

Cara’s eyebrow quirked. “ _Or I’ll tell Richard_?” she mocked. “Mature. Fine! I’ll eat, but I only do it to make you _and_ Richard stop pestering me. I’m not hungry.” She snatched the plate from Kahlan’s hands and began to eat. That was pretty low of Kahlan, using Richard’s name to make Cara do what Kahlan wanted. The brunette knew for sure that Cara would do anything Richard asked – or rather told – her to do. She was bound to obey his words despite herself.

“Of course you’re not,” Kahlan agreed, smiling all the way. Cara might be more insufferable in her condition now, but somehow Kahlan found the Mord’Sith more open – and Kahlan wasn’t sure if she didn’t like this side of Cara.

***

Something was terribly wrong; the prickling pain stabbing her whole being was enough to confirm it. It started at her fingertips and moved into her bloodstream like venom reaching her head. Then it exploded. Cara bared her teeth to stop herself from screaming when the jolt of pain shook her – she thought she was going to faint from the blow. She didn’t. But before she had the chance to feel relieved, a sound of something soft hitting the trunk of a tree then slumped to the ground reached her ears and Cara’s blood ran cold.

“Zedd!” Richard cried out, rushing to aid his grandfather to see if he was injured. The young man couldn’t believe what just happened – one second Zedd was standing in front of Cara, casting his healing spell, and the next he was sent flying to a huge tree across the camp then falling like a wet rag to the ground. He squatted and took the older man’s elbow in his grip. “Are you alright?” he asked, worried.

“I’m fine,” the wizard replied dizzily. He grabbed Richard’s shoulder. “Come, boy, help me up,” he said. Zedd was still shaking and he grunted as he pushed himself onto his feet with Richard’s help. He cast his gaze at Cara, who was still sitting on her bedroll with Kahlan on her side, looking aghast. The young woman’s complexion was so white one could think her blood was drained off her.

“What happened?” Cara demanded, “Wizard, speak! What happened?”

There was a slight tremor in the Mord’Sith voice that suggested she was equally shocked by the incident and were the situation not that grave, the tone would amuse Zedd to no end. Unfeeling as a Mord’Sith was, they were still human.

“Zedd?” Kahlan’s tone was just as demanding as it was confused, but unlike her female companion, Kahlan did no attempt of concealing the concern in her voice.

“Cara, are you hurt?” Zedd ignored the questions as he slowly, and very painfully, made his way across the camp with Richard at his side to support his weight. “Are you hurt?” he repeated again once he was close enough to assess the young woman.

“What happened?” the blonde deliberately ignored the wizard’s concern.

“Cara,” Zedd began, wording his words carefully to avoid it sounding like an accusation, “Cara, did you deflect my magic?”

The woman couldn’t look more bewildered if she tried when she heard Zedd’s question. “No!” she denied indignantly, “Why would I do that?”

“Zedd, what happened?” Kahlan interjected softly. She needed to hear his explanation as badly as Cara did.

Shaking his head, Zedd eased himself on the ground. This was so peculiar. If Cara denied deflecting his magic earlier, then she had to be unaware that she released her magic against him. His brows knitted into a deep crease in the middle, thinking hard. Cara never deflected friendly magic; no, she had been hurt before – rendered unconscious, even – and Zedd had never had any trouble casting his healing spell on her. So why did she now? This was something else beyond his comprehension.

“Wizard, are you going to make us wait for eternity for an answer?” Cara sounded impatient, like usual.

“Cara, he was just thrown to a tree,” Kahlan reproached the other woman, disapproving the way Cara treated the wizard.

“No, Kahlan, it’s alright,” Zedd finally spoke up. “I’m not sure what happened even though I have a theory,” he admitted. “But first I need to know what you felt and what you did when I cast the spell on you, Cara.”

The blonde frowned. She could feel every pair of eyes on her even though she couldn’t see them. “I was–..” she let her words hung as she didn’t know how to explain. She swallowed hard, “There was pain – not the one like the pain caused by my Agiels. This was far more.. intense.” She struggled her words out, embarrassed to let the others knew that she couldn’t handle a little pain. _Weak_ , part of her brain scolded her.

All Kahlan heard was the word ‘pain’ and she quickly gazed at the woman next to her to see if Cara was physically hurt. Aside of the paleness of her complexion, Cara looked just as she did before the spell was cast and Kahlan was mentally relieved.

Zedd nodded, pondering. “I see. When you deflect someone’s magic, Cara, can you describe what it feels like?”

“It doesn’t feel like anything important,” was Cara’s answer. She offered no more explanation. “And it certainly doesn’t feel like what I felt earlier.”

“Do you somehow wish that you stay blind?”

“Are you out of your mind, Wizard?” Cara was infuriated. What was the old man thinking? _Great_ , she grumbled, _just when I thought today wasn’t going to get any worse_.

“I apologize,” Zedd said, noting that Cara wasn’t the only one that looked offended by his earlier remark. The Mother Confessor glared at him dangerously. “I didn’t mean bad when I said that. It’s only that.. Cara, it seems that your body is refusing my magic.”

“What does it mean?” Richard chimed in. He had been quiet all this time because even after more than a year travelling with Zedd and Kahlan, he didn’t really understand magic.

“It means that this stupid magic of mine somehow decided that I’m not worthy of its service any longer and took matter into its own hands.” Cara was clearly upset, “It’s out of my control.” She touched her Agiels and gripped its head until her knuckles turned white.

Kahlan sighed at the familiar sound of the wailing Agiel. She wished Cara would stop holding the thing every time the other woman felt uncomfortable – the shrill made Kahlan uneasy, not because it sounded like a cry of something inhuman, but because she knew the louder the cry was the more pain it brought to one who touched it.

“I doubt your magic thinks so about you, Cara,” Zedd reassured her.

“Don’t pretend like you understand my magic, Wizard,” Cara chided coldly. “if you did, you wouldn’t fail like you just did, now would you?”

“We’ll fix this, Cara,” Kahlan offered the words of reassurance, trying to stop a useless argument to start between Zedd and Cara.

“Of course we will,” Richard, ever the optimist, seconded cheerfully. “Right, Zedd?”

“Right,” Zedd affirmed with a much stronger tone, letting Cara’s earlier comment pass him. He straightened up and winced at the pain on his back – It was going to give him hell that night but Cara didn’t need to know that. “I know exactly what I have to do about this,” he said. He had an idea.

Cara, on the other hand, wasn’t enthusiastic about it. She was sensible enough to know that if Zedd couldn’t heal her on his first attempt, then the second was not that promising. She shrugged. “Good,” she remarked joylessly, pushing herself up with her knee. She felt overcrowded and needed some space. “Now leave me alone.”

***

Cara was this close to losing her patience when she heard movements behind her as she began to walk. She stopped and stood still on her place, afraid of embarrassing herself by falling because honestly she didn’t know where she was walking. “Confessor,” she rolled out the title in a hiss, “Which part of ‘leave me alone’ don’t you understand? Do you want me to speak to you in High D’Haran?”

“You speak High D’Haran?” Kahlan enquired enthusiastically, intentionally missing the sarcasm in Cara’s tone. She made a beeline for Cara’s side and stood very close to her, their shoulders almost touching.

The blonde flexed her fist and put it on her Agiel, resisting the urge to yell at Kahlan, mostly only because she knew that yelling would be useless; Kahlan was pretty determined and the Mother Confessor was pretty deaf to opposition when she had made up her mind. Cara counted to ten and reminded herself that she was only obeying Richard’s order to play it nice with Kahlan.

“I want to learn High D’Haran,” Kahlan continued on; she clasped her hands behind her back so as not to be tempted to hold Cara’s hand in hers.

“Get a dictionary,” Cara muttered.

“Where are you going?” Kahlan changed subject, sensing the anger that was seeping from Cara’s still feature.

“Nowhere.”

“There’s a stream just a few stones away from here,” the brunette informed.

“Why would I go to a stream?”

“To bathe?”

Cara gripped her Agiel more tightly. Yes, she felt all dusty and sweaty and she wanted to bathe. But how would she do it without help? Disrobing from her leather was quite a task even when she was able to see – Mord’Sith leathers were unique in design; they were very detailed and were meant to be worn with the help of other people – and she assumed that it would be twice as hard now. And that was only disrobing. She didn’t want to start thinking about putting her leather back on without help. “I’m fine,” Cara spoke through clenched teeth.

Realizing that it might be difficult for Cara to get out of her outfit, Kahlan started without thinking, “I can...” She halted before she could finish. What was she was going to say? That she would help Cara? A blush crept on her cheeks at the thought of having to help the other woman bathe. “I can take you there if you like,” she decided to drop the offer; it sounded even more embarrassing as she thought about it. She caught Cara raising an eyebrow and there was a twitch of amusement in her face before it resumed back to indifference.

“You weren’t going to say that,” Cara remarked, telling Kahlan that she noticed the slight pause in Kahlan’s sentence. “Are you going to help me undress, Confessor?” she taunted cheekily, happy that the focus switched to Kahlan’s stumble of words instead of her blindness.

For a split second there, Kahlan actually forgot that Cara was no longer able to see her; she glared at the other woman as a reply, waiting for Cara to tease her for losing words. Then when her glared was returned only with silence and no change of expression, Kahlan remembered. Just like that. And the weight that was lifted off her shoulders for just a moment was back. She lowered her head in shame, finding it hard to see the lifeless abyss of green in Cara’s usually expressive eyes.

“I guess that means no,” Cara concluded grimly, very aware of the change in Kahlan’s body language since they stood very close to each other. She moved away from Kahlan, sliding her boots on the ground rather than lifting it so as not to lose her footing. Her leg met the base of a tree and Cara reached out to it, pressing the back against the rough bark. She lifted her chin indignantly and requested coldly, “Now could you leave me alone?”

***

“What in Spirits name is this?”

The high-pitch tone stopped Kahlan from attending to Zedd’s scrapes and bruises from the earlier fall. She had left Cara alone since the blonde made it really clear that she wanted to be left alone this morning. And since they weren’t breaking camp and Kahlan didn’t know what else to do to distract her mind, she offered to help Zedd. She turned her head towards the other side of the camp and saw Richard holding a sturdy-looking stick that Cara just threw at him.

“This, Cara, is a walking stick,” the man explained as calmly as he could – although he couldn’t hide the laughter in his voice. He had this idea of making a staff for Cara after the woman had stayed in one position for so long it was unnatural, only because she didn’t want anybody to help her walk.

“What do you think I am – old and toothless? I don’t need a walking stick!”

“Either this or you’ll have me and Kahlan hold your hands every time you move a step,” Richard bargained, knowing that Cara would rather die than let anyone hold her hand, let alone be led around like a pet.

“Over my dead body,” Cara hissed furiously.

“Killing you isn’t an option,” the Seeker deadpanned, “We have no Mord’Siths around to revive you.”

“Find one and kill me, then. I’ll be good as new once I return back to life.” Cara lifted her Agiel and pointed the other end to herself, ghosting above her heart.

Richard’s eyes widened. “You are not serious,” he said.

 “Try me.” She caught the hitch of breath Richard inhaled in frustration and Cara smiled triumphantly, thinking that she had won the argument. The tall man’s next remark wiped the smile away, though, soon as it was formed.

“Use the staff. It’s an order.”

Cara felt as if slapped. She was bound to follow a direct order from a Rahl, Richard was well aware of that. But in the months they were together, he had rarely used the knowledge to make Cara do what she didn’t want to do. Richard had always been more subtle. _Well,_ Cara thought, _What do you expect? He is a Rahl and he sure knows when and where to give the most painful blow_. She clasped her hand on one Agiel and Richard stepped back, not missing the movement. For a moment there he thought Cara would lose it and swing an Agiel at him. But she did quite the contrary. Cara, as the one obedient Mord’Sith, bowed her head low and accepted the staff which Richard pushed to her hand. “As you wish, my Lord,” she said resignedly.

There was no malice in her response – only acceptance – and it actually made Richard flinch. A blush crept to ears; he was rather embarrassed for using his leverage against Cara. Richard glanced to the side and saw Kahlan looking at him impassively. He turned his heel and walked away without saying a word, avoiding Kahlan’s gaze as he walked past the woman and Zedd to leave the camp.

Kahlan threw a fleeting look at Cara and felt a tug in her heart when she saw the proud woman still standing where she was, head still bowed low, holding the wooden staff in one hand and Agiel in the other. Her initial reaction was to come to Cara and offered comfort – but what comfort could she provide that wouldn’t be brushed away by the ever stubborn woman? Nothing. So instead of moving to Cara, Kahlan stopped glancing at the other woman and resumed attending to Zedd. It didn’t take her long to finish. Once she was done, she went after Richard.

She found the Seeker sitting on a rock by the steam and smiled when his eyes lit up to see her. She approached the man she loved and kissed him lightly across the lips before settling herself on his side, leaning her head on his broad shoulder.

“I had to do it,” Richard suddenly said out of the blue after what seemed to be a long silence.

“You don’t need to explain yourself, Richard,” Kahlan replied, completely understood what he was talking about.

The man sighed. He lifted his arm and pulled Kahlan closer into his embrace, relishing in the warmth of the soft body against his. “I had to do it,” he repeated as if Kahlan hadn’t said anything, “Doesn’t mean I like it. Kahlan, the look on her face when I told–.. when she called me ‘Lord’.”

“You did what you needed to do. Cara is too proud and too stubborn for her own good.”

“It still isn’t right. To abuse my power over her like that – a power that I even deny.” The man seemed truly troubled. “I hope she understands that I didn’t mean to punish her by making her walk with a staff. I’m just worried about her and I want her to be safe.”

Kahlan smiled lovingly. This was her Richard, the one who went to a great length to protect anybody and yet felt so insecure about his methods at times. The Mother Confessor knew how much Richard valued Cara as a protector and as a friend, not exactly in that order, and that he wanted the best for her. She just hoped that Cara wasn’t too clouded with her own pride to realize that as well.

The two lovers stayed there until the sun started to turn into its radiant orange before returning to the camp, but not before exchanging a few kisses. At the camp, fire was blazing and there was a pot of stew cooking on it.

“Where’s Cara?” Kahlan asked. She was surprised to find Zedd alone, cooking.

“Taking a walk,” Zedd replied casually, not looking at Kahlan. He was busy adding spices to his stew.

“By herself?” Richard was more worried than surprised. Before Zedd could answer to his grandson’s enquiry, the woman in question showed up from behind the bushes – holding the staff Richard had forced her to use.

“I’m blind, Lord Rahl, not crippled.”

Kahlan couldn’t help but feeling a flood of relief at the sight of Cara. It was odd that she always felt a little safer when she had Cara around; a very selfish thought, Kahlan acknowledged – since Cara was the one that needed to be kept safe now, but Kahlan still thought so.

The coldness in Cara’s tone and the use of his proper title caused the Seeker to frown. “Where have you been? It’s dark; it’s dangerous to wander about by yourself.”

“It’s dark since I woke up this morning,” Cara pointed out matter-of-factly, smirking as she knew the comment would make the Confessor and the Lord Rahl cringe. How she wished she could see it. She cocked her head to the source of the voice. “I’ve always wandered alone by myself and I don’t recall you ever had any problems with that, my Lord. Don’t worry; I am not going to do anything stupid. I’m still sworn to protect you.”

_And how are you going to do that without your sight?_ Richard’s question died in his lips before he actually dared uttering it. Saying the words would give another blow to the still deeply wounded Cara and hurting Cara was the least thing he wanted to do. “How was your walk?” even as the words fell out of his mouth, Richard couldn’t believe he actually asked that. He waited for an angry retort but to his surprise, he received none.

Cara was quite civil when she answered him. “It was refreshing,” she admitted, not hiding the pride in her tone. She did feel refreshed. Walking in the dark wasn’t so bad if one could will oneself to do it. The Mord’Sith wouldn’t mention about her falls and tumbles, though. They didn’t need to know that.

“I’m glad you can move about on your own,” Kahlan stated despite knowing what kind of respond she would get from the blonde. She was genuinely relieved that Cara was alright, and somehow it pleased her in a unique way to see the smug smile back on the blonde’s curved lips.

“I was able to move on my own just fine this morning before you decided to play nurse on me.”

“Cara,” Richard threw a warning.

The Confessor chuckled, dismissing Richard with a single wave. Cara’s light mood affected her in a way she couldn’t put a finger on. “It was my bad, Cara,” she apologized, deciding to play along.

“Glad we settled that down,” Cara remarked flatly.

“Yes,” Kahlan nodded, biting her lower lip to stop herself from truly laughing, “Yes, I’m glad we did.”


	3. Succumbing to the Dark

Three nights had passed since the day Cara found out she was blind. She was able to move about and had learned to count her steps and to listen to things and to feel everything; Cara was practically using her whole body as a compass it amazed everyone. And her hearing! They were incredibly sharp that she could tell if there were rabbits hiding feet away for Richard to hunt. Cara practiced her remaining senses to work for her. But still, the blonde had never felt so useless before – she could no longer hunt, she could no longer help them build fire and keep watch – and as days and nights passed, she became more and more silent. It didn’t take the others long to notice how little noise she made and how few words she said in a day – and that was saying much, since Cara was never much of a talker to begin with.

It was Kahlan who first mentioned it to Zedd when they were alone. She admitted to the wizard that she was gravely worried about Cara – not only for her physical state but also for her mental state. Zedd listened to Kahlan attentively, not saying much in return even though there were a few of Kahlan’s words that made him quirk an eyebrow in interest, but he agreed with Kahlan that it was Cara’s mental state which was more fragile at the moment. He had offered some assurances, promises that everything was going to be better once he found the very thing he was looking for. The brunette only smiled at his words, not completely at ease but seemed a little relieved.

The brunette couldn’t take her eyes off Cara. She reasoned with herself that it was out of worry, but there was something more to it Kahlan couldn’t – and refused to – name. She was literally attending to Cara and was at the Mord’Sith’s beck and call – not that Cara ever called her for help – that it enraged the smaller woman to no end. If only Kahlan could see how many fresh welts there were on Cara’s palms for holding her Agiels so tightly, one for every time she wanted to yell at the Confessor.

Kahlan was determined not to let Cara out of her sight. Whenever Cara left the camp for a walk, Kahlan was sure to follow closely behind – until the previous afternoon. Cara was really sick of it and decided she had had enough putting up with Kahlan’s weird action; she actually threatened to strike the brunette with her Agiel until Kahlan couldn’t walk for weeks. Noting the seriousness in the threat, Kahlan yielded. Since then, Kahlan would stay put in the camp and pace around until Cara returned. Zedd noticed this. Richard noticed this. Neither brought the issue up.

Cara had seemed to begin accepting the blindness; practical as she was, she had learned to resign to the fate after Zedd’s attempts to return her sight had resulted in a bit of a disaster. The second attempt had been as disastrous as the first, if not more. Perplexed – and somewhat bashful – of his failure, Zedd departed from the camp again. It had taken him longer to return the second time, a full day. This time he arrived with a Rada’Han. Cara had remained sceptical the whole time as she dutifully let the wizard slip the metal necklace cheerfully around Cara’s neck, explaining as he worked that the Rada’Han would be able to contain her magic while he cast his spell. He couldn’t be more wrong!

Cara felt her blood boil at the first word of incantation, and the Rada’Han around her neck began to rattle in a scary way. She tried to open her mouth to warn Zedd about this, but before the word left her mouth, the magical necklace broke into pieces. And somehow the Rada’Han doubled the effect of Cara’s magic – the one she didn’t know she possessed. Both the Mord’Sith and the wizard were knocked out cold for a good three candlemarks.

 “No more,” Cara told firmly Zedd when the wizard approached her about a third shot, “It’s not worth it.”

“What do you mean it’s not worth it? Of course it is.” Zedd was equally stubborn. “Just let me have another try and get it over with.”

Unable to see as she was, Cara still had this knack of silencing people with mere look. Her once emotion-filled green eyes stared blankly now at Zedd, but the tightening of her jaw was enough to tell Zedd that she was serious. “I’m not going to risk your life for my sight,” she said decidedly. Cara groped for her walking staff, the one that Richard made for her, and once her hand found it she used it as leverage. “I’m fine like this,” she stated decidedly. She wasn’t going to let any more time and resources wasted for her. She prodded the ground in front of her before taking a step, leaving Zedd and the camp to find a quiet place to brood.

“I’m still going to try,” Zedd called out to the leaving form, looking really concerned. The sentiment of Cara’s word didn’t go unnoticed, that Cara would rather stay blind than endanger Zedd’s life. That was the closest thing to concern that Cara would let out. If Zedd hadn’t already changed his mind about the Mord’Sith being only a creature of evil and violence, he would probably do now.

A pair of blue eyes was fixed on Cara’s back as she departed the camp. The owner of the eyes was talking to Richard when she saw Cara walk away from her peripheral vision and she was no longer interested in the conversation. She didn’t even feel her eyes leaving Richard’s face, drifting to Cara; she didn’t even realized that she actually stopped mid-sentence as the smaller woman moved until after the Seeker touched her elbow, asking if everything was alright.

When Kahlan stopped talking and her eyes left his face, Richard knew where the Confessor was looking. He noticed that Kahlan had been overly protective about the blonde lately; he saw how Kahlan was always looming around Cara even though the Mord’Sith had made it clear that she wanted to be left alone. The brown-haired man thought that it had to be Kahlan’s way to erase her own guilt because in a way, this was her fault; after all, if Kahlan had been more alert, none of these would have happened. He closed his eyes for a second and reproached himself for thinking about ‘what ifs’.

Richard didn’t blame Kahlan for feeling this way, but he wasn’t sure if he liked the way Kahlan seemed to care more about Cara now than Zedd or even himself. He knew he was supposed to be happy because the hate and distrust in Kahlan’s eyes whenever her blue eyes met Cara’s seemed to have dissipated; Kahlan seemed to have accepted Cara’s past – not necessarily forgiving and forgetting what the Mord’Sith had done to Kahlan’s sister and fellow Confessors when Cara was under Darken Rahl’s command – but it was still a good progress. Yes, he remembered that vengeance had been gone from Kahlan’s eyes for quite some time now but still, Kahlan didn’t usually stay around Cara voluntarily for more time than necessary. Unlike now. Strangely, what Richard felt at that moment was a little less than happy. He felt left out and, if he wanted to admit it, he felt somewhat jealous.

It was Kahlan who insisted they took a break in their quest of finding the Stone of Tears until Cara got better. When he had had no complaints about it at first as he thought Zedd would fix the problem in no time, Richard had begun to question his decision. They were wasting time and the longer they put the quest on hold, the longer the rift was left unsealed to send its creature to the world. Of course, Richard was still sensible enough not to speak of this thought to Kahlan. Maybe he could mention this to Zedd – or Cara. Well, the latter seemed to be more appealing as Cara would just say yes to whatever he said. Richard stopped the thought as soon as it began. How could he think of using Cara like that? If he did then he was no different from his half-brother, Darken Rahl.

“I’m going to see if Cara is alright,” Kahlan informed Richard. She had only walked a step when he felt Richard’s hand around her wrist, keeping her in place. She looked at him with a questioning look.

“She wants to be alone,” Richard’s word slid out effortlessly as jealousy clouded his earlier resolve, averting his eyes from Kahlan’s scrutinizing ones. A part of him yelled  to stop speaking before it was too late. He shut that part up. “Besides, we have to decide where we will stay once we get to the village tonight.”

“We can’t walk that far to the village in a day!” Kahlan looked horrified. “Cara can’t walk that far.”

“Yes she can,” Cara’s icy voice answered; she had returned in time to hear Kahlan’s last words. The woman stood several steps away from Richard and Kahlan, one hand holding her walking stick and the other was on her hip. She looked furious. “You need to stop speaking for me, Mother Confessor. As you are aware, I’m still capable of voicing my own opinion.”

“Cara!” Kahlan gasped, whirling so fast that her hair whipped like a banner, an inch away from slapping Richard’s face. She didn’t expect her to hear that. If someone had seen Cara like this, Kahlan was sure they wouldn’t have guessed that the woman was unable to see. The blonde’s chin jutted out in a challenging manner and her green gaze was fixed on Kahlan. How Cara did that was still a mystery to Kahlan.

“When do we leave?” Cara deliberately ignored the brunette. She was angry – again. For the past week, Kahlan had managed to make Cara feel more useless by the brunette ever-presence at any time.

“We are not leaving,” Kahlan said firmly, “Not with you like this.”

“Don’t,” Cara warned the other woman, “Don’t ever use me as an excuse.”

“I do not.”

“You seem to have a funny way of showing it.”

“Cara, I–..”

“Mother Confessor,” Cara cut her off, “I don’t want to hear any of your concerns; they are unfounded. Just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I can’t walk the same distance as I could. I’m not going to let this small inconvenience delay us from continuing our quest. We’re leaving today.”

Kahlan glared at Richard, but her words were directed at Cara, “You just say that because you’re stubborn.”

Cara gritted her teeth. She was so angry she wanted to rip Kahlan’s head with her bare arms. Instead, she grabbed her Agiel. The pain it delivered served its purpose – Cara’s emotion was back in check. “I say that because _Lord Rahl_ wants us to leave today,” Cara stated matter-of-factly, intentionally using Richard’s title and even put emphasize on it, “And because there is no problem with my limbs.” She turned around and made way in the dark back to her bedroll to pack, ending the discussion.

Richard stole a glance at Cara before looking back at Kahlan, who was looking at him accusingly. The man offered a silent apology. “It’s not easy to change her mind,” he explained in a whisper.

“If only you didn’t say anything about breaking camp, I don’t have to change her mind at all,” retorted Kahlan while walking past him.

Richard blushed furiously at Kahlan’s angry words. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the others.

***

_“Englighten me, Lord Rahl, why are we stopping again?” Cara asked rather irritably. She had only been with the group for less than two weeks and the Lord Rahl – or Richard, he insisted to be called – and his group had strayed from their true quest for at least three times to save some lowly peasants and their villages. If Cara was allowed to think ill of the man, she would think that this new Lord had no priorities at all. “I thought we need to find the Abbot as quickly as possible. I remember you said this is a matter of great importance?” The last sentence was meant to be a gentle reminder, one that the late Darken Rahl wouldn’t have taken nicely._

_“It’s Richard, Cara,” her Lord reminded her again in such a sweet tone that made Cara’s stomach churn in unease – Darken Rahl would have killed and revived her twice if she dared question him. Mord’Sith weren’t used to sweetness. “And we’re only stopping this time because we need to rest,” Richard continued patiently. He settled his pack on the hard ground, under a big tree that would shelter him were it to rain that night._

_Cara held her chin high and stated proudly, “I don’t need to rest.”_

_“Well, unlike you, we are still human,” Kahlan muttered under her breath from behind the Mord’Sith. She walked past Cara without even looking at the other woman, totally oblivious to the fact that Cara could hear each and every word. She put down her pack next to Richard, and, making sure Cara was watching, taking a blade out of her right boot and handing it to Zedd._

_The blonde smirked at the display. She couldn’t care less about the obvious fear and distrust the two people were showing – she was there only because of Lord Rahl. If he trusted her enough to be around the other two, then nothing would drive her away from the group. They just had to live with it. Besides, Cara mused, she always enjoyed being feared._

_“So,” Cara began lightly; she decided to let Kahlan know she heard the brunette before, “While_ you _humans rest, I’m going to take first watch.” She saw the Mother Confessor stilled for a second at her choice of words and Cara smirked triumphantly. Not waiting for the other woman to give further reaction, she sauntered away from the camp to find a good enough place to keep watch._

_Noticing the tension between the two women, Richard shook his head. This was harder than he thought before. Kahlan still didn’t trust Cara and Cara didn’t even make an effort to show Kahlan and Zedd that she was worthy of their trust. He knew he had to speak with Cara again about this – about how important trust was in their quest – but he also knew that his words would meet brick wall. Maybe he should talk to Kahlan instead._

_“I can’t believe that you still have her in our quest,” Kahlan growled in protest when Richard approached her with an apologetic smile. There was something in the Mord’Sith that always invoked her anger and Richard’s insistence on Cara’s being around only fuelled the dislike more._

_“Give her some time, Kahlan,” Richard requested. “It’s hard for her to be here – abandoning everything that she knew her whole life. We need to give her a little time to adjust. And a little trust won’t hurt, either.”_

_“She’s Mord’Sith,” Kahlan argued as if it was going to explain everything. Which would have, had Richard known about them since childhood – how people fear Mord’Sith, how Confessors and Mord’Sith were practically mortal enemies, how Mord’Sith were everything that Confessors weren’t and vice versa. But Richard didn’t grow in Midlands. He was brought up in a land where there was no magic at all until recently and it was hard to make his kind and trusting heart understand this._

_“She helped me kill Darken Rahl,” the Seeker reminded his beloved softly._

_Kahlan glared at Richard. It seemed that every time she argued about the Mord’Sith Richard would bring this up. “And that’s the only reason why I let you take her in our quest,” Kahlan replied truthfully. “Doesn’t mean I trust her.” She stood up and left Richard for the fire._

_Cara smirked from behind the trees. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop; she just returned to the camp to get her bow because she wanted to hunt._ Interesting _, she thought as she stepped back as quietly as she thought, bow forgotten._

_The next day, Cara was acting twice as menacing to Kahlan as she normally would. She made sure to reply everything the brunette said in snide remarks – even when the words weren’t directed to her; they never were, as a matter of fact. Kahlan was so annoyed that when finally Richard decided to camp again for the night she actually made a comment about letting Cara keep watch until sunrise. Cara did. And she still walked faster than Kahlan did when they broke camp again in the morning._

_That was the first closest thing to fun Cara had ever felt in years._

***

Kahlan could see that Cara began to get frustrated with herself as time went by. They had been walking for a good four candlemarks now and Cara had lost her balance several times due to the unevenness of the ground. The first time Cara took a stumble, Kahlan was close enough to catch the leather-clad woman by the arm, steadying her. She was taken aback, though, when Cara pulled away from her as if burned. The brunette knew better after that. She still walked behind Cara, a couple of steps away to give the woman in red more space and time to ensure the firmness of the ground, but when Cara lost her balance the second time – then the third, and fourth – Kahlan balled her fists to prevent her from reaching out; she just stood still and waited until Cara was back on her feet again.

She couldn’t believe that anyone could be that strong-headed. Kahlan gazed at the woman in red before her. Cara was standing straight and she walked with the careless abandon as if she didn’t care if she fell again. The brunette couldn’t help but feel awed at how gracefully Cara moved, how lightly she handled the walking stick like it was not useful at all – she kept acting as if she was going to throw the stick away. Kahlan smiled warmly at the other woman’s back. Blind or not, Cara was just being Cara.

The brunette said not a single word to enquire if Cara was alright on Cara’s every stumble; the Mord’Sith would surely take it as another insult. Zedd and Richard kept to themselves, save for occasional small talk Richard had initiated to lessen the tension among them. Kahlan had replied with short answers; she was still angry at him for making them break camp. He should have known better. After some time Richard gave up trying and they walked in silence. Now all Kahlan wanted was for them to get to the village so she could stop watching Cara pushing herself to prove nothing. She couldn’t recognize whether the fatigue she was feeling was because of the long walk or for controlling herself not to help Cara.

Cara was ready to scream in frustration as she lost her footing again; eight times in the past candlemark! That was downright embarrassing! She jabbed the walking stick to the ground in front of her with more force than necessary, not taking any more stupid chances of stumbling on a loose ground. The blonde noticed a sharp intake of breath behind her and she knew that the Confessor had been watching her. Again. She gritted her teeth. The last thing she needed now was sympathy. She realized that she had reacted too harshly when Kahlan tried to help her, but it was Cara’s nature to hate being seen incapable, weak. She had to remember to apologize later, if she felt like it. Cara was a little bit surprise when the brunette pretty much left her alone after the first time. She also took it as a good thing that Kahlan didn’t ask if she needed rest or anything. Difficult and frustrating as the walk was, Cara felt free.

***

It wasn’t until after a band of banelings attacked them when they reached a clearing was Cara reminded of what she had lost. There were too many footsteps, too many movements and too many loud and frantic screams around the blonde and she felt overwhelmed. Ears and pure instinct were not enough. She needed her eyes to fight. And Cara understood well that it would be stupid of her to try to fight with both feet on the ground – she’d be too fragile, too easy of a target. So, she dropped to one knee and made sure her footing was firm before she drew her Agiels, thankful for having at least something to keep her grounded to reality.

Cara struck and hit anything that moved within her reach. Her movements were swift but they lack elegance and precision that she always showed in combats; on the contrary, they were frantic and desperate as if a child learning to fight for the first time. It was embarrassing, and Cara couldn’t stop herself from being embarrased as she fought. And along with shame and the thrill of battle, she could feel herself tremble with something else she had never let herself feel voluntarily – fear for her life. She couldn’t stop swinging her Agiels in every direction even after her mind told her that the noises had stopped, that they were once again alone.

“Stop her, Zedd!” Cara heard Kahlan’s worried voice but it sounded so far away she wasn’t sure if she heard right.

Kahlan watched with wide eyes as Cara kept moving her Agiels around hysterically at thin air. The brunette’s heart ached for her. “Stop her! She’s going to hurt herself moving like that!” she insisted, almost pleading.

“I can’t! She’ll deflect my magic!”

“Richard! Order her to stop!” Kahlan turned at the Seeker now.

Richard took a step forward but no more. “Cara,” he called out. “Cara, stop!”

The blonde heard the pleading tone in Kahlan’s voice, heard the command from her Lord’s mouth, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop. It was as if her body had a mind of its own. She let out an untamed growl, releasing all her anger in one long scream.

Cara didn’t know how long she had screamed when a pair of soft cool hands cupped her clammy face; the touch was so tender that it stilled her movements. Her Agiels stopped mid-air and she dropped her arms to either side of her body, suddenly feeling so drained. She couldn’t see the hands, couldn’t see the panicked blue eyes looking at her – pleading at her to stop, but Cara knew whose hands those were. She recognized the softness of the skin against her own, recognized the smell all too well. And Cara let go. She felt her consciousness began to slip and as she faded away, strong arms supported her weight and the last thing she remembered was Kahlan’s soothing whisper in her ears, “I’ve got you.”

***

They were forced to camp again that night. Cara was burning up and was still unconscious and Zedd said that it would be unwise to move her far, even on horseback, as it might hurt her even more. Even though he couldn’t use magic on Cara, Zedd had checked her for injuries and found only some minor scratches along her arms. He tended to them quickly using salves and herbs. It amazed him that the Mord’Sith had managed to get out of the battle unharmed – so to speak – given her condition at that time. If Zedd respected one thing from Cara, it was her ability to overcome hardship when others had failed.

Richard sat by the fire, watching with unease as Kahlan tenderly nursed the unconscious woman, wiping her brow with damp cloth. She hadn’t left Cara’s side since they made camp and the Seeker couldn’t help feeling a little left out. He knew that Kahlan was blaming him on this and despite his accepting the blame, Richard was anxious. The Confessor had never been so angry at him before, no matter how reckless Richard could be at times. She had always been the first one to support him, the first one to back up his decision, and the first one to forgive him when some of his decisions had gone awry. Nonetheless, she showed none of those in the past few days. Her mind seemed to be filled with Cara and Cara only.

He glanced at his hands and frowned when he found them still shaking from witnessing Kahlan ran hastily to Cara who was practically out of control. Had she taken a single wrong step, or had she stumbled into the swinging Agiels.. Richard didn’t want to think about it. Looking back at the two women, he scoffed inwardly as he remembered how Kahlan was really worried that Cara didn’t eat as much food as she would like the other woman to; that Cara wasn’t speaking much; that Cara was using her Agiels as an escape. Everything was about Cara. If Richard hadn’t known better – if he hadn’t been so sure that Kahlan was in love with him – he would have thought that Kahlan had some feelings that were beyond platonic for Cara. He dismissed the thought quickly. What was he thinking? Kahlan wouldn’t have feelings for Cara – the blonde was a Mord’Sith, and moreover, a Mord’Sith that killed Kahlan’s sister. _It must be guilt_ , Richard told himself, _it had to be guilt._

...

_Cara was running in the woods. It was dark but the moon was shining its silvery glow that she could see where she was going. She had been separated from the group when they were fighting off banelings._ Those are getting so many _, Cara muttered to herself. She kept on running until she was panting hard. Stopping to catch her breath, the woman suddenly sensed a movement behind her. She reacted. Cara grabbed the hilt of her Agiels and pressed hard on the heart of her attacker._

_Painful scream filled the night air for a moment before it returned to chilling silence and Cara’s eyes widened in horror when she saw whom she had just struck. The Mother Confessor’s lifeless body lay on the ground –  a pair of baby blue eyes was staring back at her blankly as Kahlan’s soul was no longer present._

_“Kahlan!” Cara shouted in panic. She ducked close to the brunette’s face. Her hand trembled uncontrollably as she parted her lips to give the other woman the Breath of Life. To her terror, nothing happened. Cara was chilled to the bone. She tried again. And again. And again until the remaining warmth left Kahlan’s body._

_..._

Kahlan was just beginning to doze off in sitting position when she heard a loud gasp from a woman lying next to her. Kahlan’s face lightened up when Cara stirred and opened her eyes. “Cara,” she whispered softly, not wanting to startle her rather than worrying she might wake Zedd or Richard up. She couldn’t care less if the men woke up.

The blonde froze for a second when she recognized the voice; the vision of a dead Kahlan was still vivid in her mind. She blinked once to see Kahlan but when she was met with the total darkness that had become her constant companion she let out a sigh, relieved to find out that she had only been dreaming, that the Mother Confessor was not dead. “What happened?” she asked, frowning at how weak she sounded.

Kahlan hesitated. Should she tell Cara the truth – that she had passed out after battle? How would Cara react? But if Kahlan lied and Cara found out, would Kahlan be prepared to face Cara’s unnecessary wrath? “You passed out,” the brunette opted to tell the truth in the end. She wasn’t really good at lying and even though Cara couldn’t see her blush, she knew her tone would have given her away had she tried.

“How convenient,” Cara responded dryly.

“You were exhausted from the walk and the battle, Cara,” Kahlan tried to explain, making an effort not to push away a few strands of blonde hair from Cara’s forehead. She frowned; why would she want to do it anyway?

“None of you passed out, or did you?”

Cara’s tone snapped Kahlan out of her musing. _Here we go again_. “No, Cara, but we are–..”

“Not blind,” Cara finished for the brunette. “Wow, Mother Confessor, that was subtle.”

Kahlan sighed. Talking to Cara had been tiring lately; tiring to the point of utter exhaustion. There were no right words, no right things that Kahlan or Richard or Zedd could say to Cara that didn’t spark arguments. The blonde had this inclination to take everything as a personal offense nowadays.

“That wasn’t what I was going to say.” Kahlan didn’t know why she even bothered trying. “I was going to say that we didn’t fight off as many banelings as you did.” Which was true. “And that I found it amazing that you still have the strength to do it even though you’re injured.”

The blonde cocked her face at the last part of the other woman’s sentence. Kahlan had picked her words very carefully so as not to offend her. She was thankful that the brunette didn’t say the word ‘blind’. It was more difficult hearing it from others than when it came from her own mouth. “I’m Mord’Sith,” Cara deadpanned, hiding the pride that began to swell in her heart, “Of course I have the endurance.”

Smiling at Cara’s answer, Kahlan felt her heart flutter. For the first time in four days their conversation didn’t turn into shouting match – more like shouting on Cara’s part and desperate pleas on Kahlan’s. Progress!

“Well, since I don’t have it, I think I’m going to wake Zedd up for his watch,” Kahlan said, referring to the strength Cara mentioned. “I’m so sleepy.”

“I can keep watch,” Cara volunteered.

Kahlan didn’t know what to say. If she let Cara keep watch, she would risk her friend getting another temperature. Yet, if Kahlan didn’t let her, Cara would think that she was useless. It was fortunate that Zedd stirred and said he couldn’t sleep and would keep watch for the night before the silence became too long and too awkward.

“I want to keep watch tomorrow,” Cara said to no one.

“We’re sleeping in real beds tomorrow,” Zedd informed the young woman. “But you can keep watch when we leave town.”

Kahlan nodded her thanks at Zedd and his diplomatic answer. Cara had responded with an indifference shrug, no arguments whatsoever. Kahlan suspected that the blonde was totally tired – but too proud to admit it – that she didn’t object to the somewhat silly arrangements. Kahlan bid Zedd goodnight before lying down next to Cara, who was facing away from her.

“Good night, Cara,” she said, closing her eyes as she spoke. She was tired. When she heard a soft reply muttering good night from the person next to her, Kahlan couldn’t decide if she was dreaming or if it was real. And as she drifted deeper into slumber, she realized that it was the first night Cara didn’t ask to sleep with her Agiel. Kahlan slept with a smile on her face that night.


	4. Lingering Doubts

Richard found Cara leaning leisurely against a tree when he was on his way to the stream to fill their water skins the next morning. He raked his gaze upon the slender woman and absently thinking about how attractive Cara was. Yes, he had always found the blonde attractive, in the most provocative way, since the first time they spent time together in the future. Cara had changed quite a lot now; she looked a little more relaxed without her complete uniform, but not less threatening, and it seemed that months of travelling and fighting had begun to take its toll on her body – she looked thinner and her muscles seemed more toned. Richard took another glance at Cara's face and noticed that she still appeared a little pallid; other than that, though, Cara looked perfectly like her usual self.

"Lord Rahl," Cara called out casually, telling Richard that she knew he was around.

"It's Richard, Cara," he corrected patiently, moving towards Cara, "How many times should I tell you not to call me Lord Rahl?"

Cara simply shrugged, dismissing the supposed-to-be order. She had this way of interpreting Richard words into either an order or a mere talk – it was up to her, really, since the new Lord Rahl always used vague words when giving orders that they sounded almost like suggestions. "I need to discuss something with you," she said, cutting to the chase.

Richard searched Cara's face for a hint; it had been more and more difficult to read anything from Cara's expression lately. The woman had a poker face to begin with and now that her green eyes were no longer able to convey anything, it was getting harder to do so. It wasn't Cara's nature to start a small talk so Richard concluded that it had to be something of great importance. He reached out and took Cara's elbow in his hand, tugging it. "Walk with me," he invited.

The blonde followed the lead, all the while letting Richard lead her by the elbow without a single protest. If the Lord Rahl wanted to lead his Mord'Sith around like a pet, who was she to argue?

The twosome walked in silence until they reached the stream. Richard let go of Cara's arm and squatted by the running body of water. He took his time uncorking the water skins before dipping one by one into the water. He could feel Cara standing right behind him, unmoving. From his peripheral vision he saw one of her hands was on the Agiel. Richard sighed inwardly, thinking that maybe Kahlan was right – letting Cara find comfort in the pain was not the brightest decision he had made. "I thought you wanted to talk?" he asked, hoping that starting the conversation would distract the woman from her Agiel. Richard was again proven wrong.

The blonde shifted from one foot to the other, clutching the Agiel more tightly to center herself. She was thinking about where to begin. She reminded herself that the outcome was more important than how it was said so she began, "Yes; I need to discuss about my participation in your quest."

"What about it?" Richard had a suspicion on where this was going but he decided to wait.

"I have been thinking about it and I conclude that it is wise for you to give me an order to stay behind until I get my sight back," Cara spoke calmly, nodding at how fluidly the sentence was formed.

There was a second of silence. Richard stopped what he was doing as he grasped what Cara was suggesting. He looked up from where he was squatting. "Come again?"

"Give me an order to stay behind; leave me and go on with your quest," the Mord'Sith repeated herself, more confidently this time.

The brown haired warrior didn't answer immediately; he turned back to his task filling the waterskins, taking his time. Then he posed quietly, "And why would I do that?"

"Because it is only sensible," Cara replied readily, having pondered all night about what she would say if Richard asked questions, "I am slowing us down." It was a true fact, an objective observation only a Mord'Sith could make – or so Cara believed. "Our aim is stopping the Keeper from ruling the world of the living and we can't do it if I slow you down. Defeating the Keeper is urgent – the longer we postpone it the slimmer your chance is to get it done. You don't want that, do you?" She paused and waited for a response. When she received none, she went on, "Besides, my presence here is no longer of use for you. My impairment is proven to have prevented me from doing my duty to you as the true Lord Rahl. Instead of protecting you, all I do is hindering you from doing your job, not to mention endangering your life."

That was the longest speech Cara had ever given to Richard. And even though he saw the truth in her frank words, Richard couldn't do what she wanted him to do. Kahlan wouldn't forgive him if he did. Richard frowned; since when was it about Kahlan? Putting the thought aside, Richard focused on Cara's words. "And?"

"And so I decided that the most practical thing for you to do is to order me to leave."

Richard looked at the blonde with an expression between frustrated and amused. He wanted to hug this woman but he knew it wouldn't be a wise idea. So he repeated himself, "Why would I do that?"

"Because it's–... Are you mocking me?" Cara asked irritably, knowing exactly what Richard was doing.

"I wouldn't dream of that," he replied in serious manner, only the twinkle in his eyes betraying his words.

Cara tightened her grip on the Agiel. If he weren't her Lord... She didn't finish the thought. "You are mocking me."

Richard fastened the cork of one water skin and stood up after putting it on the ground. He wiped his hands on his pants and slowly reached out to Cara, putting his right hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Cara," he began in a fatherly tone, "If one day you are to leave me; it will be for pursuing a better life – and that is never going to be an order from anyone but your own freewill. I'm never going to send you away if you wish to stay. You're my friend, Cara, and you're precious to me."

The blonde squirmed uncomfortably under Richard's touch. She clearly wasn't used to receiving a gentle treatment from her sovereign. Richard's idea of lordship was foreign to her; never in Cara's life had she seen a ruler who treated their subordinates as equal – as a friend. "I'm slowing you down, Richard. That is a fact."

At this, Richard chuckled. He squeezed Cara's shoulder once and dropped his hand. "No, Cara,  _I_  am slowing us down. How many times did you tell me that we'd be moving faster if I didn't insist on saving every lost kitten we came across to?"

If the Seeker was trying to lighten the mood, he was successful. Cara smirked at his words. "So does this mean we're not going to do that anymore? Good, Lord Rahl, I know I'll get to you one day," she asked, somewhat hopeful.

"And I hope I can get you to stop calling me Lord Rahl," Richard remarked.

Cara huffed, turning around from Richard and starting to leave. "I'm not as impressionable as you are," she commented as she left. She rewarded herself by allowing a little smile as she walked away. But then she frowned when she remembered that she didn't succeed in her quest of making Richard order her to stay. She had to find another way.

...

"Wizard!"

Zedd stopped walking when he heard Cara calling him out. He turned around and saw the slender woman walked with her stick towards him. It was still beyond his understanding how Cara had managed to walk around so swiftly without her sight shortly after she lost it; Cara's body adapted too well to changes. If it was good or bad, Zedd didn't know. He waited for the young woman to catch up with him, noting mentally that she seemed in full health now after sleeping the whole night.

Cara stopped a few paces away from Zedd, sensing that he was close. "We need to talk," Cara said.

The wizard raised his brows, not quite believing if he heard what he heard. Cara Mason wanted to talk? That was new. It had become common knowledge that Cara didn't simply involve herself in a simple conversation, let alone started it. When she decided to 'talk' to someone, it usually meant she was the one who spoke and others listened – or else.

"If you want to stop me from trying to heal your eyes, then we're not having this conversation," Zedd warned her.

"It's not about that," Cara snapped, glaring at the wizard as she was not used to being talked back before she even started talking.

"I'm listening," Zedd said.

The blonde fidgeted. She didn't know how to say what she meant to say when she started going after Zedd. Cara was not one who asked people nicely; she was used to giving commands and she expected total obedience from her subjects. Asking people to do her a favour, and having to do it nicely, was not familiar to her.

"I want you to postpone your leaving," she finally said, hoping that it didn't sound as demanding as it did in her ears.

Zedd waved his arms irritably. "That's it," he finalized, mistaking Cara's words as an order not to leave, "I'm leaving."

"Wait!" Cara stopped him. "Are you always this thick, Wizard? You haven't even listened to what I've got to say."

"You ordered me to abandon my intention to heal you, Cara. I got that. And I'm not going to do that."

Cara grumbled. This was why she'd rather use brute force than words. People listened better when they were incapacitated. "It was a request!" Cara explained herself, gritting her teeth as the word rolled out of her mouth. "I'm not asking you to cancel anything; just to delay it a little."

"And why would I do that?" Zedd challenged. This woman could use more hints on how to make request not sound like a death threat. He took a step closer to Cara and eyed her worried face. Sighing, he told her, "You do realize that the longer we put a hold on this the slimmer your chances are to get your sight back, don't you?"

The Mord'Sith stood up straighter. "I have accepted my fate," she said bravely. She was getting tired of people second-guessing her motives and decisions. She was patient with Richard because he was Lord Rahl. Zedd was not a Rahl.

There was a slight crack in her confident tone and it didn't go unnoticed by Zedd. "You don't actually believe that," he asked.

"So?"

"So why do you want me to delay my journey? What is more important than your sight now?"

A sad scoff escaped Cara's lips. Her expression fell for a second before her mask of indifference was back in place. She hated all the attention that everyone seemed to be giving her of late; she was there to serve, not the other way around. Then it dawned to her that maybe Zedd was doing this merely because he thought Cara was useless for Richard's protection if she was blind.  _Yes_ , she rationalized,  _that_ _must_ _be_ _it_. "Believe me," she stressed out, "there are far a lot of things more important than my eyes."

"And those are..." Zedd queried.

"Richard's protection," Cara stated in a tone that suggested she couldn't believe that the wizard could be so dense. "The Mother Confessor's safety. Need I go on? I am blind, Wizard. I can't offer them protection like I used to. I can protect myself fine, but not them. Don't you see? I'm a burden this way. I can't let them die because of my incapability to protect them. If you go now, we're two men down. You wouldn't risk losing your grandson -  _the_ _Seeker_ , and the Mother Confessor because of me, now, would you?"

 _Always_ _the_ _selfless_ _Cara_ , Zedd thought with a smile. "I believe Richard and Kahlan are capable of protecting themselves, Cara," he assured the young woman, "Fret not. After all, they are the Seeker and the Mother Confessor."

"Not when they're too busy trying to protect me, they're not!" Cara argued, a little frustrated by now. She didn't like talking. Talking was more tiring than fighting. Her hand brushed on her Agiels for a second, and as the sting of it comforted her, she felt a little bit in control.

"Let's say I'm going to delay my journey; how long would you want me to postpone it?"

"Until the rift is sealed."

"That could be months! Or even years!"

Cara nodded. "And by then I would be used to not being able to see. A win-win solution, is it not?"

"I don't get your reasoning," Zedd admitted, appalled by the stubbornness of this young beautiful lady.

"Nobody does," agreed Cara, totally missing the point.

"I'm not going to do that."

Cara held her head high. "You will. I'm going to make you," she said in a threatening tone.

"How?"

"Wouldn't you want to know?" A wild grin broke in the blonde's face, her hand was on her Agiel in an instant.

Zedd sighed in defeat. Cara was a woman of mystery; and she was also a reckless one too. He could imagine her ways and none of them appealed to him. "Alright," he gave in. "I'm not going to leave just yet, but only until we get to the village. All of you will be safe there."

"What if Richard wants to continue the journey straight away?"

"He will not." Of this, Zedd was sure. He was the witness of the heated argument Kahlan and Richard had after the last encounter they had had with the banelings the previous night, when Cara was unconscious. Kahlan practically ignored Richard's reasoning and told him that there would be no more journeys before they figured out how to cure Cara. She gave him two options, though. It was either that, or Richard and Zedd could go on with the quest and leave Cara behind. And Kahlan, too. Richard, of course – and much to Zedd's disagreement, opted for the first.

"Are you sure?" The woman gave Zedd a quirk of her eyebrow. She knew there was something she didn't know, judging from Zedd knowing tone.

"Perfectly."

"If that is the case, then alright. Now what are you waiting for? Let's go back to camp," Cara said, ending the conversation. She turned around and walked carefully back to the opposite direction. "And don't try to fool me, Wizard. I may be blind but my Agiels are not," she warned him as she sauntered, not looking at him.

...

"Cara!" Kahlan practically exclaimed in relief when the blonde appeared from behind the bushes. She was worried that something happened when Cara didn't return to camp after a while and was just telling Richard that she was going to look for her. The brunette found it harder and harder not to see Cara around her lately.

"What?" Cara sounded more annoyed that she actually felt. Somehow, in the course of a few days only, she found that it was comforting to hear Kahlan's voice near her or the light footsteps walking around her. Of course Cara would rather commit suicide than to admit it to herself. She merely justified the comfort as the ease of the mind knowing that her charge, the Mother Confessor, was safe.

"Where have you been?"

"Around," the blonde said.

Kahlan was ready to ask more when she saw Zedd coming from behind the blonde. "Zedd!" she was surprised. "What are you–.." She didn't finish her question; instead, she looked at Cara before back again to the old wizard. She understood. "Did you stop him from leaving?" she raised her voice at Cara. Then at Zedd, "Did you just let her stop you?"

"If it were my doing, Confessor, the wizard wouldn't be conscious to say hello," Cara stated calmly, the lie rolled easily out of her mouth.

"Zedd." Richard was surprised to see his grandfather when he returned from the river to fill their water skins. "I thought you were leaving."

"I had another plan," Zedd told Kahlan and Richard. His eyes didn't meet the Confessor's scrutinizing ones. "I'll take my leave when we reach the village," he added.

Kahlan threw a suspicious look at the wizard and Cara but said nothing. If something had happened between the two, she would eventually find out. Right now, she needed to focus of getting to the village before dusk. She voiced out the concern.

"Night time doesn't bother me," Cara commented lightly, a taunting smile splayed on her face.

The brunette knew enough not to comment on that. She continued, "If we start now, we can get to the village in three candlemarks."

"That is if we don't get attacked by banelings or some Sisters of the twisted," Cara suggested.

"Cara!" Kahlan breathed out tiredly.

Richard shook his head, ducking it so Kahlan wouldn't see his grin. The banter of the two women always left him speechless and he couldn't laugh because Kahlan would not be pleased at him. It was always the same – Kahlan said something and then Cara would counter it in the most outrageous and ignorant way and Kahlan was left baffled at the deadpan response. "Alright then, let's get going," he invited, partly to stop the women from continuing what he knew could be another silly argument as the two women had been so easily offended lately.

Ignoring the smug look on Cara's face, Kahlan grabbed her pack and walked past Cara. The brunette did stop after a couple of steps, though, and waited for Cara to walk past her. She always walked behind the blonde now and there was no argument in it.

"Your mood seems better today," Kahlan mentioned to Cara as they were walking, quickening her pace so she walked next to the blonde. Richard had just informed them the obvious again – although it was now for Cara's benefit – that they were reaching the village.

"I do not have a mood," Cara responded dryly. She did feel a bit lighter that day, but it was probably only due to her accomplishment of asking Zedd to stay.

"Why do you do that?" Kahlan couldn't stop herself.

"Do what?"

"That – dismissing your feelings like they are nothing." The brunette looked at Cara, waiting for her to respond. But Cara didn't react; she kept walking and acted as if Kahlan hadn't said anything.  _So_ _you_ _don_ _'_ _t_ _want_ _to_ _have_ _this_ _conversation_ , Kahlan thought, her mouth gave a little twitch,  _fine_ _then_.

The village was small but pretty crowded. Richard wore a big smile upon reaching the crowd as he always enjoyed being around people. Kahlan returned the smile he gave her but then her smile faltered when she noticed how stiff Cara's stance was. She quickened her steps to match Cara's and walked beside the other woman.

"Hey," Kahlan said full of unmasked concern, making her presence known. The tense on Cara's shoulder seemed to lessen perceptibly on hearing Kahlan's voice but her face was still very serious. "You alright?"

Cara's hands tightened; one around her walking stick and the other around the Agiels. She was anxious by all the noises around her. After getting used to only hearing three sets of footsteps and familiar voices around her, the sudden buzz of dozens of people walking and talking threw her off balance. Her breathing labored a little and she only nodded to Kahlan's query in a curt nod.

Noting the lack of sarcastic remark from Cara, Kahlan knew that her companion was really anxious. Kahlan didn't know what was wrong, but she could guess that it had something to do with the crowd. Even before losing sight, Cara had never been at ease around too many people; she always thought that random people could just emerge and attack them at any time. Now that Cara had lost one precious sense, Kahlan couldn't begin to imagine how difficult it was for her companion. But how could she comfort Cara, a woman who didn't want to be comforted? "I'm here," was all that Kahlan could say to her. She flexed her hand and her instinct was to take Cara's hand in hers but that wouldn't end well so she grabbed her own dress instead, still itching to hold Cara's hand.

"I can hear you," Cara deadpanned. The warmth Kahlan's body radiated into her through her leather and she felt some tension left her shoulders.

"The inn is not far." Zedd was suddenly on their side. Richard was nowhere to be seen. Upon Kahlan questioning look, Zedd explained, "Richard is arranging our accommodation." He saw that Kahlan didn't ask him verbally so as not to make Cara agitated. They both knew how much Cara objected when Richard wandered around by himself.

"You should've gone with him," Cara rebuked, not mentioning whom she was talking to.

"He is a big boy," Zedd countered, "Ah, there he is."

Richard jogged to his group; it wasn't easy to find the trio – they were all outstanding in the crowd. "We booked two rooms in the tavern," Richard informed them. The brown haired man looked at his grandfather, "Are you setting out today or are you planning on staying the night?"

"I'll go after dinner," Zedd said, more to Cara than to Richard.

Cara smirked knowingly. "Of course, the wizard can't go anywhere in an empty stomach; even the thought of it repulses him," she mocked.

Zedd laughed heartily at Cara's remark. Over the time, he had grown quite fond of the Mord'Sith wit and dry humor despite their rather shaky start. "I can't think with an empty stomach," he agreed, "Now let's go. The sooner I get meal in my belly, the sooner I leave."

They entered the tavern and Kahlan felt everyone's eyes turned on them. Instinctively she scooted closer to Cara until her shoulder brushed the other woman's.

"They are staring at me, aren't they?" Cara asked for confirmation, suddenly feeling self-conscious not in a good way. Cara used to like being stared at because it gave her power; now she hated it because she couldn't see the hatred and fear in the people's eyes. In her mind, Cara was sure that everyone stared at her in pity.

"Not at you," Kahlan corrected, half confirming Cara's statement, "at us."

Cara didn't believe it for one second. She clamped her jaw tightly, wishing that she had thrown the stupid walking stick away before entering the village. A Mord'Sith with a walking stick was not a sight people are used to seeing. She was dying to get away from the crowd, to be back in the forest without people around her.

The rigid move of Cara's body was so evident that Kahlan suggested they went straight to their room to rest. Cara said nothing when the brunette told Richard and Zedd that they were going to freshen up. Kahlan gently tugged on the sleeve of her leather, guiding her friend upstairs as subtly as she could so that no one would notice something wrong with Cara. The Mord'Sith didn't utter a single protest for being led around and that was enough to make Kahlan more protective of her.

Once in the safety of their room, Cara began to visibly relax. She fumbled through the wooden furniture until her gloved hand touched a soft material that was the bed. She practically slumped on the bed, no longer putting the facade to hide her exhaustion.

"I'm going to get us something to eat," Kahlan told her, one hand on the door. She sensed that the other woman wanted to be alone to compose herself. She had never seen Cara so out of herself before – beside that only time in the forest after battle. This blindness had to take a toll on her, whether or not Cara was willing to admit it.

"No," refused Cara. "You go eat downstairs. I'll be fine."

"I'll be back with our meal," Kahlan said, ignoring her. She left the room and double-checked to see that the door was properly closed. Once downstairs she ordered some food and drinks to be delivered to their room. She stopped by Richard and Zedd's table but her eyes kept wandering to the stairs whenever she saw someone went upstairs.

"How is she?" Zedd asked, concerned.

"Exhausted," Kahlan replied, "But not willing to say it. I don't know how she manages to keep going."

Zedd nodded. "She pushes herself too much at times – too much for her own good."

Richard made a noise of agreement; he was chewing a large chunk of meat and he didn't want to seem rude to speak with his mouth full in front of Kahlan. He swallowed. "We'll take it easy from here." That was directed to Kahlan. He turned to his grandfather, "Where are you heading, Zedd?"

The wizard grew silent. He was contemplating whether to tell them the truth or not. He knew Kahlan wouldn't like his answer. "I'm going to ask a friend of mine for a favor," he said giving them the half-truth.

But it wasn't Kahlan if she didn't see right through Zedd. Her eyes met his grey ones as she spoke rather coldly, "You're not going to Shota."

"She might be able to help," Zedd argued.

"Zedd, you can't be serious. The last time someone asked for Shota's help they ended up as Calthrops!" Kahlan said.

"They are not me."

Richard frowned. "Is there no other choice, Zedd?" he asked. The idea of Zedd asking Shota's help was unappealing, but if that was needed then Richard could live with it.

"Surely there is." Kahlan was adamant.

The wizard shook his head. "No, Kahlan. If there were other options, I wouldn't choose this one," he said, "We don't have a luxury of trial and error. Shota is a powerful witch; she'd know what to do."

"You are a powerful wizard and you don't know what to do. What makes her any difference?" Kahlan pointed out. It was a valid argument.

"You don't know her."

"I know enough not to trust her," Kahlan replied angrily. The last thing she wanted was some crazy witch hurting Cara. Kahlan was nauseated at the thought.

Zedd sighed. He put a hand on Kahlan shoulder. "Then, Kahlan, I'm going to ask you to trust me."

...

Kahlan returned upstairs just in time; a maidservant was standing at their door holding a tray of food, ready to knock. She told her not to and took the tray off her hands. "I'll take it from here, thank you," she said. Cara wouldn't take it nicely if a stranger entered the room.

The blonde was sitting by the window when Kahlan entered the room, balancing the tray on one hand while the other shut the door behind her.

"There was someone else at the door with you," Cara commented in passing, without turning her head to Kahlan.

The brunette quirked an eyebrow; she was astonished that Cara would know that. Her hearing had been very sharp since Cara lost her sight, but Kahlan didn't know it was  _that_  sharp. "Yes, there was," Kahlan affirmed, sensing the need for control in Cara's voice. By telling Cara that the blonde was right, Kahlan was giving her a boost of confidence that Cara was not incapacitated by her inability to see. "A maidservant," Kahlan told her further, "She brought us our meal. It looks delicious."

"I'm not hungry," stated Cara.

 _She_ _must_ _be_ _famished_. Kahlan regarded her friend as she remembered how little Cara had eaten for the past week; there was hollowness on her cheeks Kahlan didn't see before, suggesting that the blonde was losing weight.  _Well,_ _maybe_ _real_ _good_ _food_ _will_ _tempt_ _her_ _to_ _eat_. "Humor me," Kahlan said, placing the tray along with the food on the table near Cara. "We have some steamed vegetables, potatoes, and roast duck. Which do you prefer?"

"Hare," Cara retorted indifferently.

"Duck it is," Kahlan decided, overlooking Cara's bored tone. She carefully piled some food on Cara's plate, making sure that the blonde had the bigger portion of the roast duck. She put the plate on Cara's lap. She knew that the blonde wouldn't just waste food – Cara knew what hunger was too well to do that.

Begrudgingly, Cara took a spoonful of something mushy on her plate. Her palate was screaming joy when she took the first bite. The potato bite she just took was so delicious and soft it melted in her mouth. A small twitch formed on the sides of her lips but Cara lowered her head so Kahlan couldn't see it if the brunette was watching.

They ate in silence. Kahlan was contented to see that Cara seemed to enjoy her food. She watched every spoonful that went into the other woman's mouth and smiled at the expression Cara was wearing. She doubted that Cara did that on purpose, the expression. The blonde looked appreciative and – if Kahlan didn't know better – happy. Kahlan had to admit that the inn food was good, especially compared to the mushroom stew they had been eating while they were in the forest. Even Richard looked as if he wanted to throw up every time Zedd told him what the menu was.

"More?" Kahlan offered when the last bit of food on Cara's plate went to the blonde's mouth.

"Are you watching me eating?" Cara's tone couldn't be more accusing.

"No," Kahlan lied; she answered too quickly, though. "Now would you like some more?"

The Mord'Sith didn't answer but she didn't refuse either when she felt Kahlan moved to add some more food on her plate. "Skip the duck," was Cara's only request.

The comfortable silence continued for a while. They were interrupted by a soft knock on the door and Cara was alert once again. Kahlan calmed her down and opened the door to see Zedd and Richard at the door. The wizard was saying goodbye to them. Cara answered with an indifferent shrug while Kahlan let the wizard hugged her.

"I'll be back soon," he promised to the two women then backed out of the room.

"Wizard," Cara stopped him. She hesitated a second then murmured, "I don't really need my sight."

Zedd chuckled. That, if he was right, was Cara's personal way to tell him to stay safe.


	5. Treat and Tricks

**Disclaimer: See chap 1**

Morning came too soon and Kahlan was the first to stir. She opened her eyes lazily and squinted at the bright sunlight from the window. Trying not to move too much, Kahlan managed to steal a glance at the sleeping figure next to her. Cara was curled into a ball under the cover, leaving only a small patch of yellow hair as a proof that it was human under the blanket and not a pillow. Kahlan smiled. The fact that she was the first to wake up was an evidence of how exhausted Cara was for the Mord'Sith usually roused at first light, like clockwork. But again, Kahlan didn't know what time the other woman had gone to bed the previous night – Kahlan bathed first and she went straight to bed, not hearing the door open and close when Cara returned from her bath. The brunette shifted, giving Cara a little more room to move if the blonde wanted. Somehow during the night Kahlan had managed to corner the blonde to the edge of the small bed and occupy most of the bed.

She didn't attempt to get up as sleep was still heavy on her eyes. She closed her eyes back and tried to relax. She wouldn't go back to sleep, that was indulging herself too much. She only wanted to enjoy a moment of peace, one which she didn't get often since she started her journey with the Seeker. It was a good feeling, lying in bed like this without having to worry about things. And with her eyes closed, it was easy to pretend that everything was alright – that she had nothing to worry about, no rift to seal, no Keeper to defeat, and no burden of the world on her shoulders. She longed for the day when she didn't have to pretend any longer.

A muffled groan from under the cover told her that Cara was awake. Kahlan didn't pretend to sleep, it was futile – Cara would know anyway. "Good morning," she greeted instead.

Cara pushed the cover from her head and grimaced when she stretched; her muscles were sore from all the tumbling and fumbling she had the previous day. She grunted as she turned around and lay on her back. The bed was soft, but when she had sore muscles she always opted to sleep on a hard ground – served her better. There was nothing good about morning, Cara thought. Her ears caught the sound of birds chirping outside the window and she buried her head in the pillow.  _Noisy creature_ , she muttered. Then she realized that Kahlan was still lying next to her.

"Are you alright?" Kahlan asked before she couldn't hold her mouth. She bit the inside of her cheek, waiting for the snap that would surely come.

Cara was too absorbed in her musing on why Kahlan was still in bed to answer the question with her usual snark. From the lucidity and evenness of her voice, she was sure that the Mother Confessor had been awake for some time before she was. "Are you sick?" she inquired, trying not to sound worried.

"I'm not," replied Kahlan, confused, "What makes you think so?"

"You're still in bed," Cara pointed out as if it were a sin to stay in bed once one was awake.

Kahlan shook her head, her long hair brushed against Cara's bare shoulder. "Oh," she breathed out, "Oh! It was still early and since we're not leaving the village I reckoned I'd stay in bed a little longer."

Cara raised her eyebrows. The excuse Kahlan just gave her was foreign to her understanding. As Mord'Sith, Cara had been trained to get up and get ready as soon as she was awake. There was no sense in staying in bed longer than necessary if one wasn't incapacitated; it was a waste of time and totally impractical. So, sore as she was, Cara kicked the blanket off her body and slowly stood up, unabashedly baring her naked skin fully to Kahlan's view. She heard Kahlan gasp behind her but she ignored the other woman, stretching again and felt her muscles pull in the right places. She would bet her arms that the taller woman was blushing now and she grinned at the thought. Sleeping naked was one of the few indulgences Cara let herself have over the years. She wasn't going to give that up only because she had to share a room with the prudish Mother Confessor. If the Mother Confessor didn't like it, that was her problem, not Cara's.

There was a knock on the door and Cara instantly reached for her Agiels, knowing exactly where she put them the previous night. Kahlan got out of bed in her night shift and glanced down to make sure that the lace was properly tied before walking to the door.

"Kahlan? Cara?" Richard's voice was heard from the other side of the door, "Are you awake?"

Kahlan didn't open the door immediately; she cast a glance at Cara – still standing indifferently in her glorious nakedness. "Cover yourself," she said to the woman.

"It's nothing the Lord Rahl hasn't seen," Cara replied coolly as she opened her arms tauntingly, earning a glare from Kahlan which Cara couldn't see.

Forcing Cara to cover herself would be a useless attempt and therefore Kahlan saved her breath. She averted her gaze from Cara's naked form and focused on the door instead. She pressed her hands on the wooden frame to make sure that Richard didn't try to open the door. "What is it Richard?" she asked. The door shook a little and Kahlan leaned in, using her weight to stop it from opening. "Cara is not properly dressed," she informed. She didn't even have to look behind her to know that Cara was smirking – she heard her companion scoff.

"Err... Would you come down for breakfast?" Richard sounded a little awkward. He took a step back from the door, blushing. Knowing Cara, Richard was sure that 'not properly dressed' meant that the woman was naked. Sometimes he wondered if Mord'Sith ever learned about the propriety of society.

"Breakfast would be lovely," Kahlan replied, still not looking at Cara. She could hear movements behind her that suggested that Cara was dressing up but she didn't want to take any chances. "Can you please order something for us while we get dressed?"

"Uh... sure," Richard affirmed. "I'll be waiting downstairs then," he added before leaving the two women.

Kahlan took another fleeting look at Cara before turning around, ensuring that Cara was no longer in her nameday suit. Cara was somewhat dressed, only some parts of her leather were left unlaced. She knew it was difficult to tie all the laces up properly without visual help – it was a hard enough task to do even with sight.

"I'm not–.." Cara didn't finish her sentence. Kahlan cut her off.

"I know; you're not hungry." Kahlan made her way to where Cara stood. "Sit down, I'll help you with the laces," she told the smaller woman.

"I didn't ask for your help," Cara retorted stubbornly.

If this conversation had taken place a month ago, Kahlan would have just left. But she now knew Cara enough to understand that sometimes the blonde just didn't know how to respond to kindness. Kahlan didn't blame her; for one who was raised without compassion, it was perfectly predictable not to be able to comprehend it. "Sit down anyway," Kahlan repeated. She smiled broadly when Cara complied without sounding any more protest. She began to work on the laces on Cara's back, the ones Cara had the most problem tying by herself.

"You're tying it the wrong way," Cara commented after Kahlan made a small knot at the top of the leather, on Cara's nape.

_You can't even see it_! Kahlan bit her tongue before the words came out. "It's a common knot. I can't be wrong about it."

"No, you're tying it the wrong way," Cara insisted. She reached back and untied the knot. Then she pulled the laces undone till it reached the small of her back. "Do it again," she commanded.

"What? No!" Kahlan refused indignantly.

"You said you want to help."

" _Help_ , Cara. Not enslaved," the brunette emphasized.

Cara frowned. In her practical mind, to help someone was to aid someone by doing everything correctly; if they didn't do it the right way then it wasn't helping – it added a burden to the person they were supposed to ease from it. "Fine," Cara resolved, shuffling from the bed. "I'll do it myself then."

"Suit yourself," Kahlan said, biting back a suggestion that Cara wore a dress or at least something less complicated until she could dress by herself. Kahlan didn't want to know what Cara would do to her were she to suggest such thing. It wouldn't be pretty, for sure.

The Mother Confessor decided to change while Cara persistently tried to tie up the laces of her leather herself. Kahlan turned around from Cara when she undressed and redressed into her corset and green travelling dress. She still found it uncomfortable to change in front of Cara even though the other woman was now unable to see her. When she turned again after she was finished with her dress, Cara was still fumbling with the laces. The woman hadn't made much progress she looked exasperated. "Alright, come here," Kahlan finally said, pitying Cara and feeling a little guilty at the same time. "Tell me how to do it."

Cara let out an inaudible sigh. She was beginning to feel angry at herself for not being able to do such an easy thing like tying her  _own_  laces. It made her feel less Mord'Sith – not that she didn't feel that way since she started travelling with Kahlan and Richard.

Mord'Sith leathers weren't meant to be worn by oneself without help, but like every Mord'Sith, Cara was taught how to do it herself when there were no Sisters around to help her – that was one of the first things they taught her after she got her leather, among other tedious things. The blonde sat down on a wooden chair and began to explain to Kahlan how to properly fasten the laces so that they would look neat and wouldn't hinder the wearer's movement in any ways. She also told her about what knots to use and how to secure it under the flap of the leather as not to make it visible to eyes.

As Kahlan listened and attempted to do her best to follow Cara's curt instructions, she couldn't help but felt mesmerized by the details of Mord'Sith uniform. She knew that the uniform was a form of control, because the Creator forbid – it was the most uncomfortable outfit Kahlan had ever seen, but what Kahlan didn't know before was that the uniform was built to enhance the movements of the wearer, if worn the proper way.

"Go under, not over," Cara repeated irritably for the third time as she felt the knot brushed her nape uncomfortably. "Let me do it." She reached back and practically swatted Kahlan's hands from her lace.

"Wow, thank you for your help, Kahlan," the brunette threw a snide remark when Cara said nothing in acknowledgement of Kahlan's effort. Kahlan believed that Cara could really use some help in the mannerism department since it seemed that Mord'Sith's manner in society was as good as a Shadrin's.

"I didn't ask for your help," Cara pointed out blankly.

Kahlan ran her hands through her hair frustratingly. "It's only polite, Cara," she explained. The other woman replied with a shrug and Kahlan shook her head. This was pointless. Cara didn't care nor did she want to care. "Let's break the fast then," she suggested, dropping the subject. She walked to the door and opened it; she didn't leave, though, waiting for Cara to follow her. "And stop saying you're not hungry. It's getting old."

"Sarcasm doesn't become you, Mother Confessor," Cara mentioned, not moving.

"Cara, you need to eat."

"I'll eat here," Cara decided.

Kahlan searched Cara's face, looking for a hint of insecurity or anything but the tanned face stayed expressionless, revealing nothing. She remembered how fidgety Cara had been – whether the Mord'Sith was willing to admit it or not – the night before and she thought it was better that she stayed put in the room for the time being. Kahlan would drag her companion out of the confinement of the tavern room later, she resolved. But now she was going to let Cara have her way. "I'll send a maidservant with some food," she informed before leaving.

...

"How was the food?" Kahlan asked, nodding approvingly at the empty plate on the table. If Cara said she didn't like the food, at least she ate them anyway. The blonde was sitting by the window, her back to the door. She appeared deep in thought. "What are you doing?"

Cara didn't turn around. What for? She couldn't see the Mother Confessor either way. "Training," she replied.

Kahlan frowned. "What kind of training?" she walked to the only other window in the room and looked out – nothing spectacular was outside, just the usual view in a village.

"Listening," the blonde replied curtly.

"To what?"

The blonde's hand automatically moved to clasp the handle of her Agiel; it hummed monotonously, sending a searing pain to her gloved palm and putting an end of a sarcasm hanging just at the tip of Cara's tongue. She was tired of being at the spotlight of Kahlan's infinite numbers of questions. She remembered one of her Sisters back in the Mord'Sith temple, one that wouldn't stop asking stupid questions even though Cara punished her severely for it – the said Mord'Sith was finally sent to another temple because Cara couldn't take it anymore and cutting a Mord'Sith tongue was unacceptable; Kahlan was twice as annoying and this time Cara couldn't do anything to stop the woman from speaking too much. "You just can't stop yourself, can you?"

"What?" Kahlan was genuinely confused.

"The ceaseless rambling and pointless inquiries," Cara uttered bluntly, "You're hurting my ears."

The Mother Confessor looked crestfallen at Cara frankness. All she wanted was to make Cara felt comfortable – and Kahlan herself always felt comforted if she had someone to talk to when she was restless. "I... I didn't know my talking bothers you so much, Cara," she stammered in embarrassment.

Hearing the tremble in the velvety voice, Cara was left feeling perturbed; it was as if someone poured a bucket of cold lake water on her head. She swallowed hard and gripped her Agiel more tightly to keep hold of herself. Mord'Sith didn't feel guilty, the slender woman reminded herself. But to her dismay, the mental rebuke didn't lessen the uneasiness in her heart a bit. Cara pressed her lips together to form a thin line; this was a proof that she spent too much time around the Mother Confessor. The highest authority of Midlands had corrupted Cara and her lifelong training.

Cara sighed and turned her face away from the window. Somehow she felt this urgent need to say something to Kahlan, to wipe the hurt in the other woman's voice. "You bother me, yes. But not that much," she amended in a low growl.

Kahlan blushed for an entirely different reason now. If her intuition was right, then what she just heard was some sort of an apology from Cara. But Cara never apologized. Why would she start apologizing now? Nevertheless, hearing the insecurity in Cara's voice had made Kahlan's stomach flutter. Kahlan's words were failing her now that she only stared at Cara incredulously. She blinked when there was a knock on the door.

"It's Richard," Cara told her before their guest announced himself.

The brunette went to get the door and she was greeted with a beaming Richard. He reached out to her in an attempt to kiss her but Kahlan looked away that Richard's lips touched her cheek instead; she didn't want to kiss Richard in front of Cara. Kahlan frowned inwardly at her action; she'd kissed Richard in front of Cara before, when Cara was able to see. So what was the problem with kissing now that Cara wasn't able to see anything? She risked a glance at Richard and saw that the brown-haired man was looking at her questioningly. Kahlan shook her head but smiled reassuringly at Richard, promising herself to make amend later.

"It's a good day out," Richard began gaily, not thinking about the kiss. "And since we're not leaving before Zedd returns, why don't we go out and relax a little?"

"And risk an ambush? No, thank you," Cara responded dryly. For the hundredth times since joining the quest, Cara had to stop herself from thinking that this Lord Rahl had no sense of urgency at all.

"Don't be so sullen, Cara," Richard said, "We all need a little sunlight. Besides, Zedd said it will be safe in here."

Cara shrugged. "I get sunlight just fine from the window," she remarked calmly.

"You're going to lose your tan," Richard teased.

"I'm not going to miss it," Cara snapped. "Unless," she added slyly, "you are, Lord Rahl." A smirk formed on the side of Cara's mouth.

Richard's mouth was agape. Even if he was good at talking his way out of things, he was no match of Cara's wit and quick mouth. He glanced at Kahlan, who was now standing next to Cara by the window. They exchanged silent conversation, in which Richard asked Kahlan to back him up.

"We can go out of the village if you like," Kahlan suggested.

"Yes, because Banelings only wander in the villages," replied the blonde.

"You're not making this easy," Richard interjected, earning a disapproving look from Kahlan. He quieted but it was a tad too late. He swallowed hard as the Mord'Sith stood up and faced him.

"I am not making this easy?" Cara asked, raising her voice just a little, still trying to keep her temper in check. "Then why don't  _you_  make this easy for me?"

"I'm trying to!" Richard growled.

"Making suggestions is  _not_  making things easy for me, Lord Rahl!"

"Cara," Kahlan's soft voice interrupted her. The brunette was still looking at Richard, pleading him to stop arguing with Cara.

"Don't 'Cara' me, Confessor!" Cara was getting more aggravated. She should have known that the Mother Confessor and Richard would team up against her. "Stay out of this," she warned the taller woman.

"What would you want me do?" Richard asked as anger began to bubble up his head. He had been trying to be patient at everything – at the fact that Cara was practically useless, at the fact that Kahlan paid more attention to Cara now, at the fact that they couldn't continue their quest. But this was getting out of hands. Cara was supposed to obey him.

"Stop making suggestions and tell me what to do!" Cara retorted, half yelling. "If you want me to go out, say so and if I disobey you can punish me. But stop making suggestions then get all annoyed when I make a choice. That is frustrating!"

"Fine!" Richard said definitely, "I order you to go out with Kahlan and me! Now!"

Cara's anger dissipated in an instant. She smirked triumphantly. "Well, Lord Rahl," she remarked seductively, "That wasn't so bad, was that?"

Richard blinked at the sudden change of Cara's mood. He exchanged another look with Kahlan, who looked as surprised as he was. "So.. you're going out with us?" Richard asked unsurely.

"I don't want to," Cara answered.

"But you just said..."

"You were asking, so I said no. If you give me an order then the answer is yes."

At this point, Richard was beyond questioning the way Cara brain worked. He could never figure her out. Suddenly, the prospect of walking around the village with Kahlan and a very grumpy Cara was not that appealing anymore. "Stay," he finally said, carefully picking his words so as not to be translated into what Cara called 'a suggestion'. "I'm going out with Kahlan and you stay here."

Kahlan glared at Richard. "Richard, I don't think it's...," she began but was interrupted by Cara's cold remark.

"Works fine."

"Great," Richard stated flatly.

"Awesome," replied Cara, nodding her head as she resumed sitting by the window.

"I don't..." Kahlan couldn't finish her words. Richard had grabbed her hands and dragged her out of the room.

"Just leave her be and see if she isn't dying to go out tomorrow," Richard whispered in Kahlan's ears, stopping her words of protest.

For some reasons, Kahlan wasn't sure about it

 


	6. Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: See chapter 1
> 
> A/N: Hello again! I'm sorry for not updating for a long time. I was so busy with work and personal life and all. Here's an update, I hope you all haven't lost interest in this story – or if you have, it's all my fault.
> 
> This chapter turned out not as I expected it would be; the pace is so damn slow that even I cringed while rereading it. I was going to add a quicker pace but I think it would be a bit too long to put in a chapter. I promise the next update will have something instead of mere talking.
> 
> Thank you for everyone who reads, bookmarks, leaves kudos, and for those who leave comments. I love you all; you're too kind.
> 
> So, before I shut up I'm just going to say the drill: This work is still unbeta'ed (I'm in dire need of a Beta) so the mistakes you find are all mine.
> 
> Fine.. I'm shutting up now. Enjoy the ride *kisses*

 

Sometimes Kahlan really wished that she could read a Mord'Sith. Prior to travelling with Cara, the thought had been solely for practical and tactical reason – it would make things easier if she had been able to read the enemy's mind, to know what evil plots they were planning against the Seeker and herself. Now, Kahlan wasn't sure if it was still the reason anymore.

For sure, Cara was not the most approachable person on earth. There was no way to know what was going on inside the head of the pretty blonde unless Cara herself let it known. Getting a piece of her mind was a more difficult task than killing a Shadrin with a blunt dagger; Cara guarded herself so securely and the fact that she mostly wore the same bored expression didn't help at all.

It had been better before, when Cara still had her sight. Behind all the bored or annoyed expressions she wore, the pair of green eyes had always managed to betray their owner by revealing glimpses of expressions that Cara never wanted to say. But even the light in those eyes were now gone and replaced by a cold empty stare.

Kahlan exhaled inaudibly into the darkness and lifted her hand slowly to rub her aching temple. She had been lying in bed for no less than two candlemarks without any hints that sleep was going to claim her. Carefully she turned her head and glanced at the person lying next to her.

Cara was fast asleep under the blanket; her back was facing Kahlan and the sheet rose and fell steadily as the person underneath it breathed. Kahlan's eyes began to droop as the calming motion lulled her to sleep but then she frowned when she registered how stiff Cara's posture was. The blonde had somehow slept on the far side of the bed – a bed that was obviously too small for two – so that Kahlan practically had most of the bed to herself. Before Kahlan knew it, sleep had eluded her again.

The brunette rolled slowly to her side, careful as not to pull the stitches off her left shoulder. She supported her upper body with her good arm and tried to peek to see if Cara was really asleep. She couldn't do it without tumbling on top of Cara, though, so she decided to call the blonde instead.

"Cara," she whispered. Silence. "Cara, are you asleep?" she tried again. Kahlan waited for a few heartbeats; there was no answer. She was about to lie back down when Cara's cold voice made her jump.

"I was," Cara said without opening her eyes.

There wasn't a single hint of sleep in the velvety voice that Kahlan wasn't sure if the other woman had really been asleep.

"What do you want?" Cara asked impatiently.

"Did I wake you up?"

Cara turned her head to face Kahlan; she was frowning. "Do you really have to ask?"

Kahlan bit her lower lip. She was thinking of something to say but Cara beat her to it.

"Confessor," Cara spoke slowly, "is there anything you want to say? Or is it your habit to wake people up in the middle of the night for nothing?"

"Oh! Sorry, I was just thinking," Kahlan apologised. She was actually at a loss of what to say – waking Cara up was not her intention – so she fell back into silence.

Again, it was Cara who broke the silence. "Are you hurt?"

"Huh? What?"

"Your stitches," Cara elaborated, "Do they hurt?"

Kahlan shook her head against the pillow. "I'm fine," she replied softly. There was something – concern, perhaps? – laced in Cara's question and Kahlan felt touched.

Cara said nothing at first. She was confused; Kahlan said she was fine but why would she wake Cara up if she wasn't hurt? Truth was, Cara was still curious about the wound. Kahlan had returned earlier from the walk than she had expected with a wound on her left shoulder – Richard arrived a couple of minutes later uninjured; both refused to give her any explanations. Cara wanted to ask again for an explanation but she knew better so she held her tongue.

"Cara?"

"What?"

The taller woman hesitated for a moment. "I'm sorry I woke you up," she finally whispered.

Cara shrugged. "I wasn't tired anyway," she replied.

The reply made Kahlan smile. It was so Cara to dismiss her discomfort like it was nothing. Then she remembered the reason why she woke the blonde up. "Cara, why did you sleep on the edge of the bed?"

There was a second of silence before Cara answered like it was something obvious, "You are hurt. You need the space."

"I'm not that big, you know."

"I didn't say you were."

"You'll hurt your back sleeping like that," Kahlan said, her hand reached for Cara's arm under the cover and pulled. "Come here, there's plenty of space here."

The touch was unforeseen and Cara flinched. "I'm fine," she grumbled as she yanked her arm away from Kahlan's grasp. "Why aren't you asleep?"

Kahlan drew her hand back, surprised at Cara's reaction. "I...," she faltered. "I can't sleep," she confessed. The Confessor watched as Cara sighed next to her, waiting for the blonde's next words but nothing came out at first.

"You need to learn how to control yourself, you know?"

"What do you mean?" Kahlan asked, not comprehending.

Cara exhaled audibly. "If you were in control of yourself, Confessor, you wouldn't have such a stupid problem of not being able to sleep," she began, "It's you who have to control your body and not the other way around – you tell your body what to do, when to do it, and how you want it to do it and your body has to obey. If you are in control, you can simply command your body to sleep and it will go to sleep right then; you tell it to wake up after how many candlemarks, and it will do exactly as you say." There was a pause, then, "I can teach you how to do it."

Kahlan couldn't help but smile at the offer. Cara was anything but impractical and the blonde seemed to think that everything could be accomplished if one was wilful enough. "It's easier said than done, Cara," remarked Kahlan. "And I'm not you; I can't tell myself to sleep when I have something on my mind."

"Then whatever it is that keeps you awake, leave me out of it. I want to sleep." With that, Cara rolled back to her previous position, leaving Kahlan to her own thought.

Kahlan let out a sigh. She watched the back of Cara's head for a while, half hoping that the Mord'Sith would roll back and keep her company. When the other woman didn't, Kahlan tried to close her eyes. Alas, instead of falling asleep, her mind wandered to her walk with Richard earlier that afternoon.

...

_Richard was his usual chipper self the moment they left the inn. He smiled broadly and greeted people he met on the street. Kahlan, on the other hand, walked a couple of steps behind the Seeker; her eyes kept glancing at the inn._

_When they reached a quieter place on the outskirt of the village, Kahlan broke the silence. "Richard," she called out._

" _Yes, Kahlan?" he answered sweetly._

" _I think we should go back," she said, "It doesn't feel right for me to leave Cara alone this long."_

_The man waved his hand as a dismissal. "You're too worried. She is in her room; what could possibly happen there? Besides, Cara can take care of herself."_

_Kahlan frowned at the easy reply. "Why are you acting this way?"_

" _Acting what way?"_

" _Like this; like you don't care if anything happens to Cara." Kahlan was cross when Richard seemed undisturbed._

" _She's stronger than anyone in the village," was Richard excuse._

" _She can't see."_

" _She fought Banelings without her sight," Richard reminded the Confessor. "Don't underestimate her, Kahlan."_

I don't! _Kahlan wanted to protest but held her tongue. This argument was not going to get anywhere; she knew well enough how stubborn Richard could be when the man wanted to._ Must be the Rahl blood in him _, she thought._

_Richard was frustrated and he felt cheated; here he was, walking with the love of his life, but it seemed that the woman next to him didn't share the same feelings as him. Kahlan was supposed to be happy and carefree, being able to be alone with him. And yet, she was busy worrying about Cara. It bothered Richard more because it hadn't been months since Kahlan hated Cara's guts. Why the sudden change? Richard wanted to ask. What did she do that made you forgive the person who murdered your sister so quickly?_

" _She saved my life," Kahlan said coldly._

_Richard blinked. He didn't realize he had said the last question out loud. He looked at Kahlan; her blue eyes pierced his brown ones angrily. He opened his mouth but Kahlan cut him off._

" _She's saved my life more than I could count with my two hands. And yours too. And now she's blind because of me – because she was the only one who was fast enough to react. I'm not heartless, Richard. Yes, she tortured and killed my sister; that is a fact. Yes, there have been times when I wanted so much to put my hand around her neck and make her pay for her mistakes; that is also a fact. But I can't ignore the fact that she is trying to change – that she is sorry for doing what she did. As for what made me forgive her so quickly, how can you be so sure that I have forgiven her?" Kahlan didn't give Richard a chance to respond. She glared at Richard one last time before turning her back and walked away._

" _Kahlan," Richard called out. "Wait!" He ran after her, silently cursing himself for not being able to shut his own mouth for his own good._

...

Kahlan huffed; replaying her argument with Richard had made her tired. Soon, she fell asleep with anger still burning hot in her head.

* * *

It was Cara who woke up first the next morning. She opened her eyes and again, she was still left in the dark. If she had been a lesser person, she would have wailed and pleaded to the Creator to return her sight. But Cara was not a lesser person.  _I still have my other senses_  – that was what she kept telling herself every morning, every turn of the day –  _no need to cry over some stupid eyesight_.

She waited a second before getting up, slowly as not to wake the still sleeping Kahlan next to her. The blonde knew that her companion didn't rest well – Cara was spending half of the night staying awake because Kahlan had been tossing and turning in the bed. It was probably because of her wound, but Cara wouldn't know, would she?

Cara couldn't help thinking about Kahlan's wound. And the way Kahlan spoke to Richard the previous day – there was something going on between the two. And no one told her a thing.

...

_Cara was pleased when Kahlan and Richard went without her. A moment of peace, she thought. It wasn't that she minded Kahlan's company – she had grown quite used to the Confessor's endless blabbering – it was the way she was being treated by the Confessor. Kahlan constantly worried about her; she kept telling her to eat, to go out and walk around the village. Cara was tired of it._

_She had actually given up hope to get her sight back and all she needed was a little more time – a little more training – and she would be able to function as she used to. Cara never doubted herself on that matter. She knew what she had to do. She understood that she had to train her ears, her touch, her sense of smell so that she could see with every fibre of her being. All she needed was time._

_But time was something that she didn't have. With Kahlan always at her side, when would she have time to train? With the quest to find the Stone of Tears, there wasn't enough time to train. Had Cara been more articulate, she would have asked the Lord Rahl to give her some time. However, Cara was not that kind of person and she had to make use every single time she had._

_Cara didn't expect the twosome to be back that quickly. She had been spending her time by the window, trying to focus on a single sound and block the others. So far she hadn't been successful. Having no eyesight was a pain; she admitted it. When they were in the forest, things were actually easier because all she had to do was focus on the others' footsteps and she had familiarized herself with the footsteps of each member of their group; if she heard a different set then it meant they were under attack. In the village, her senses were overdriven. There were too many noises that she couldn't figure out when one ended and the other started. It was tiring trying to block all the insignificant sounds while she listened only to the ones that mattered._

_Again, Cara didn't expect Kahlan and Richard to return to the inn before dark – she was quite familiar now with her Lord Rahl fondness of villages and crowd. So it was a bit of surprise when she heard Kahlan's footsteps outside the door. She stood up as the door swung open._

_From the scent, Cara knew it was Kahlan who entered the room – but there was something that simply amiss about the sound of the taller woman's breathing and the way she walked. Cara's hands immediately ghosted on her Agiels, ready to draw them quickly if needed be._

" _Confessor?" she asked, "What happened?"_

_Kahlan didn't give a reply – she was still too upset to answer; her shoulder was stinging from where she fell, and her ankle hurt too._

" _Confessor, are you hurt?" When she still received no answer, Cara raised her voice, "Kahlan!"_

" _I'm fine, Cara," Kahlan finally muttered, slightly annoyed. She glanced up at Cara and her anger subsided a little to see a frown forming on the blonde's forehead. "I fell and sprained my ankle," she said._

" _I smell blood," Cara pressed._

_Kahlan grimaced. "I injured my shoulder too, apparently," she added as an afterthought, "Don't worry; it's just a scratch."_

" _I'm not worried," Cara grumbled. She groped in the dark to the source of Kahlan's voice. "How did you fall? Where's Richard?"_

_The brunette was about to answer when there was a soft knocking on the door. She turned to see who was coming and lifted her chin as Richard entered the room._

" _Kahlan," he started._

" _Richard, are you hurt?" Cara interrupted._

" _I'm fine, Cara. I need to speak with Kahlan," he replied; his eyes were trained on Kahlan. "You're hurt," Richard spoke to Kahlan._

" _It's none of your concern."_

" _Your shoulder needs stitches," Richard remarked._

" _Cara will help me," replied Kahlan._

_Richard shook his head in disbelief. "Kahlan, she's_ blind _."_

_Cara winced at the remark. True as it was, the word 'blind' still stung when spoken with malice. And apparently, Kahlan was more offended than Cara was. Before Cara could say a word the other woman had spoken._

" _Get out!" Kahlan spoke coldly with her Mother Confessor tone._

...

"Cara?" Kahlan's voice broke Cara out of her thought. The Confessor was still in bed and her voice was still laced with sleep. "Why are you up so early?"

"It's morning," Cara replied matter-of-factly.

The brunette smiled as the reply was so uniquely Cara.

"How's your shoulder?" Cara asked hesitantly. She wasn't going to ask lest Kahlan thought she was worried, but it seemed that her mouth had a mind of its own.

"It stings. But I think the healer did quite a decent job. I can only expect that – you scared that poor old man so badly he shook when he did my stitches." Kahlan chuckled at the thought. "Do you have any plans for today?"

Honestly, if it were up to Cara, she would spend another day sitting by the window to train her ears. "What are yours?"

"I want to see the lake."

Cara raised an eyebrow. "With that ankle of yours?"

"Oh, well. You can be my leg," the brunette said lightly.

_And she can be my eyes_ , Cara gritted her teeth at the unspoken words. "Go with Richard," she told the other woman. Kahlan said nothing in return. Cara sighed.  _This is just great_ , she thought,  _now I have to be a middleman as well? Where is the wizard when we need him? Useless._ "Alright," Cara finally resigned. "But only for a candlemark," she termed.

Kahlan grinned broadly – a smile that would make Cara smack her face if the blonde were able to see her.  _It would be worth it, though_ , she reminded herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so to be perfectly honest with you guys, I haven't written the continuation to this story. Should I continue? I mean, do people still ship them as much as I do? Let me know, guys. 
> 
> And thank you very much for reading.


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